"You will start by performing the basic commands of 'go,' 'stay,' and 'fetch.' You will end by ordering your reptile to hunt fish for you, as your forefathers have done before you."
Hiccup swallowed nervously.
"The boy and dragon who most impress the judge, and that is ME," -- Gobber bared his teeth grimly -- "will receive the extra glory of being called the Hero of Heroes and Most Promising Dragon. The boys and dragons who FAIL this Test will say farewell to their families forever and leave the Tribe to go, where we do not care." Gobber paused.
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"Poetry," muttered Fishlegs, just loud enough for Gobber to hear. Gobber glared at him.
"HEROES OR EXILES!"yelled Gobber the Belch.
"HEROES OR EXILES!"yelled eighteen boys fanatically back at him.
"HEROES OR EXILES!"yelled the watching Hooligan and Meathead Tribes.
Please let me be a bit of a Hero, just this once,Hiccup and Fishlegs each thought to themselves. Nothing too spectacular or anything, just to get through this Test.
"STAND TO ATTENTION, WITH YOUR DRAGONS ON YOUR RIGHT ARMS!"yelled
Gobber the Belch.
Gobber walked down the row of boys for the inspection.
"Beautiful turnout." Gobber congratulated Thuggory the Meathead on his Nightmare dragon, Killer, who spread out his shining wings to show off a wingspan of about four feet.
Gobber stopped abruptly when he got to Hiccup.
"And WHATin the name of Woden," demanded Gobber, blanching a little, "is THIS?"
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"It's a Toothless Daydream, sir," muttered Hiccup.
"Small but vicious," added Fishlegs, helpfully.
"Toothless Daydream???" blustered Gobber. "That's the smallest Common or Garden I have ever seen. What do you think I am, an idiot?"
"No, no, sir," murmured Fishlegs reassuringly, "just a little on the slow side."
Gobber glowered dangerously.
"A Toothless Daydream," explained Hiccup, "looks exactly like a Common or Garden except for the characteristic wart on the end of its nose."
"SILENCE!" said Gobber, in a very loud whisper. "Or I shall throw you all the way to the Mainland. I HOPE," he continued, "that this dragon hunts better than it looks. you and your fishy friend here are the worst candidates for Initiation I have ever had the displeasure of teaching. But you are the future of this Tribe, Hiccup, and if you shame us in front of the Meatheads, I, personally, will never forgive you. Do you understand?"
Hiccup nodded.
Each boy then stepped forward to bow and hold up his dragon for the spectators to applaud.
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There was huge clapping for Snotface Snotlout and his dragon, Fireworm, rivaled only by the mighty cheering for Thuggory the Meathead and his dragon, Killer.
"I give you, last but not least," Gobber the Belch was trying to put a bit of enthusiasm into his yelling, "the fearsome . . . the terrible . . . the only son of Stoick the Vast... HICCUP THE USEFUL AND HIS DRAGON TOOTHFULL!"
Hiccup stepped forward and held up Toothless as high as he could to make him look a bit bigger.
There was a slightly appalled silence.
People had seen dragons this small before, of course, normally scampering about after field mice in the wild, but NOT as noble hunting dragons competing in Initiation.
"SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING!" boomed Stoick, so loudly that you could have heard him several beaches away, and he banged his great hands together to start the applause.
Everyone was terrified of Stoick's famous temper, so they joined in with polite wild cheering.
Toothless was still in a mood, but he was
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delighted to be the center of attention, and he puffed out his chest and bowed solemnly to left and right.
A few of the Meatheads snickered.
I've changed my mind,thought Hiccup, closing his eyes, THIS is the worst moment of my life so far.
"Okay, Toothless," he whispered into the little dragon's ear, "this is our Big Chance. Catch lots of fish here and I will tell you more jokes than you have ever heard in your life. Which will make that big red Fireworm dragon reallycross."
Toothless took a sideways glance at Fireworm. She was sharpening her nails on Snotlout's helmet with the smug certainty of a dragon who knows she's about to win the prize for Most Promising Dragon.
"P-PPAKP!"
The Test began.
Toothless didn't do too badly in the early obedience exercises, though he clearly thought it was extremely dull. It was now raining quite hard and Toothless hated the rain. He wanted to go home and relax in front of a nice warm fire.
Fireworm and Killer were "going" and "fetching" as soon as Snotlout and Thuggory commanded, and
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they were diving and breathing out fire as they did so, just to show off. Fireworm did some fancy acrobatic somersaults that had the crowd screaming and stamping their feet.
"START YOUR HUNTING!" yelled Gobber the Belch.
Every dragon except Toothless flew out to sea.
Toothless flapped back to Hiccup's shoulder.
"T-T-Toothless got a t-t-tummy-aeie," he complained. Hiccup tried not to see his father looking surprised on the sidelines. He tried not to notice the crowd whispering to each other: "That's Stoick's son over there -- no, not the tall one with the skeleton tattoos who looks like a pig, the small skinny one who can't even control his minuscule dragon."
"Don't forget, Toothless," said Hiccup through gritted teeth, "tie FISH. I'm going to tell you all tie jokes I've ever hearh., remember?" "T-t-tell me NOW," said Toothless.
Help came from an unexpected quarter.
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Snotlout broke off from yelling "KILL, FIREWORM, KILL" to lean over and sneer at Hiccup. "What ARE you doing, Hiccup? You're not TALKING to that newt with wings, are you? Talking to dragons is against the rules and forbidden by order of Stoick the Vast, your wimpy father. ..."
"N-n-newt with wings?" repeated Toothless. "N-N-NEWT WITH WINGS???"
"You're not a newt with wings, are you, Toothless?" said Hiccup. "You're tie best hunter in tie world, aren't you?"
"Too RIGHT I am," said Toothless, grumpily.
"You SHOW that Snotface Snotlout and Ms snobby dragon what a REAL hunting dragon can do," said Hiccup urgently.
"OKAY, then," said Toothless.
Hiccup heaved a huge sigh of relief as Toothless took off in shambolic fashion in the general direction of the sea.
"This is too good to be true," Hiccup said to himself ten minutes later as Toothless returned from a second trip, clearly too bored for words but dropping a couple of herring at Hiccup's feet. "In about half an
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hour, I, Hiccup, will become a fully paid-up member of the Hairy Hooligan tribe."
It wastoo good to be true. Fireworm was just flying back to Snotlout with her twentieth fish, her green cat's eyes snapping with triumph, when Toothless called out:
"S-s-sloppy. snob."
Fireworm stopped in mid-air. Her head whipped round, her eyes narrowing.
"WHAT did you say?" hissed Fireworm.
"Oh no," said Hiccup. "No, Toothless, no, don't
do it...."
"S-s-sloppy. snob," jeered Toothless. "Is that the best you can do? It's p-p-pathetic. Hopeless. U-u-use-iess. You N-N-Nightmares thinkyou're so cruel but you're s-s-sloppy as scallops."
