Adventurers Wanted

Apply Within

Alex stepped back and shook his head before looking at the sign again. The red letters were back, and he wondered if he’d seen the blue letters at all. He focused on the sign for several minutes without blinking, just to be sure, but the red letters remained unchanged.

Alex looked up and down the lane, wondering if anyone else had noticed the sign. The normally busy lane was oddly empty. There were several parked cars, and a few people walking at the far end of the lane, but nobody close. It was still early afternoon. There should have been dozens of people and cars crowding Sildon Lane.

Looking back at the window, Alex jumped when he saw the sign had changed for a third time, this time to shiny gold letters.

Great Adventures

Reasonable Prices

Apply Now

Butterflies whirled in Alex’s stomach. Something strange was happening; signs didn’t change in an instant. There must be some reasonable explanation for what he was seeing. He moved closer to the window again, looking to see if there was some mechanical device that had changed the sign while he hadn’t been paying attention. All he could see was the cardboard sign—a sign that changed every time he looked away.

Alex moved to the bookshop door. He looked up and down Sildon Lane once more, but even the few people he had seen before were gone. Taking a deep breath, and considering how best to ask about the sign in the window, he pushed open the door and walked into the shop.

“Good afternoon,” said a happy voice as soon as the door had closed behind Alex. “Here to get an adventure, no doubt.”

Alex looked around the shop to see who had spoken. He spotted a short, round, balding man standing behind a dusty, book-covered counter.

“No, I—” Alex began.

“Thought you might like to try being an adventurer,” the man finished for him. “Excellent career choice I must say.”

“N-no,” Alex stammered. “I was just wondering—”

“Oh, not to worry,” the man interrupted again. “We don’t charge unless you’re completely happy with the adventure. And our prices are very reasonable. In fact, most adventures build the cost right in, so there’s no need for you to worry about payment at all.”

“Yes, but—”

“Come along then,” said the man with a laugh, turning away from the counter and walking toward the back of the shop. “We’ll just get some information and see what kind of adventure we can find for you.”

“I only wanted to ask about the sign,” Alex said in a rush, afraid the man would interrupt him again.

“Yes, it’s quite a good one, isn’t it?” the man replied, smiling fondly at the sign displayed in the window. “I’ve only just put it up today, and you’re the first one to notice it. Now, come along.”

Not knowing what else to do, Alex followed the man through the blue velvet curtains that divided the back of the shop from the front. The man moved quickly and by the time Alex stepped through the curtains, the shopkeeper was already sitting behind a desk, shuffling through a pile of papers. He seemed to be looking for something special and ignored Alex completely.

Alex approached the desk and looked at the papers scattered across the desktop and the floor. He tried to read what was printed on them, but it was impossible because more papers kept flying everywhere as the man continued searching through them. Alex stood and waited for the man to say something.

“Here we are,” said the man, pulling a single page from the pile. “Adventurers’ Application. Exactly what we’re looking for.”

“Excuse me, sir,” said Alex. “Who are you?”

“Who am I?” the man echoed. “Why, I’m Cornelius Clutter, of course.”

“And you . . . sell adventures?”

“Of course I do,” replied Mr. Clutter with a smile. “Didn’t you say you saw the sign in the window?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that says it all, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, but—”

“I mean, it would be silly for me to put up a sign offering adventures if I didn’t sell them, wouldn’t it?” Mr. Clutter asked in a kindly voice. “No good advertising for things you haven’t got, is it?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Of course not. That would be silly. And one thing Cornelius Clutter is not is silly.

“No,” Alex agreed, not wishing to offend Mr. Clutter. “But I’m not sure—”

“You’re not sure if you’re properly suited to be an adventurer,” Mr. Clutter finished for him. “Well, not to worry, the application will sort that out. After all, you’re already here, aren’t you?”

“But”—

“No, no, don’t worry,” said Mr. Clutter, looking down at the paper in his hand. “Let’s just see what we have once the application is filled out.”

Alex looked around Mr. Clutter’s office, feeling slightly nervous. He’d only wanted to know about the sign in the window, not fill out some application to become an adventurer, whatever that was. He was sure, however, that any objection he made would be brushed aside before he could get the words all the way out. He also felt certain that any answer of Mr. Clutter’s would have nothing at all to do with his question.

“Have a seat then, mister? Mister? Mister what?” asked Mr. Clutter, looking at Alex and pointing to a large chair in front of his desk.

“Taylor,” Alex answered, sitting down slowly. “Alexander Taylor. But I go by Alex.”

“Ah, well, we’ll jot that down,” said Mr. Clutter, taking a pen from his desk and starting to write. “Now then, Mr. Taylor—or may I call you Alex?”

“Yes, please.”

“Thank you. Now then, Alex, what is your age?”

“Fifteen.”

“A bit young,” Mr. Clutter said, scribbling on the paper in front of him and making a soft clucking sound.

“I’ll be sixteen in two months,” Alex added quickly, not liking the frown that had appeared on Mr. Clutter’s face. “I turn sixteen at the end of October.”

“Ah, well, that doesmake a difference. I find it’s best to start a career early. So, any special abilities?” questioned Mr. Clutter.

“None that I know of.”

Mr. Clutter nodded, writing something down. “We’ll put you down as untested then.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Alex replied. He didn’t know what Mr. Clutter meant by “special abilities” or “untested,” but he didn’t dare ask any questions.

“Ah, yes, now a more difficult question,” said Mr. Clutter, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried not to smile. “Would you have any problems traveling with female adventurers?”

“What?” Alex asked, blushing at the question.

“Well, as I’m sure you know, there have always been female adventurers,” Mr. Clutter said quickly. “And many of them have found a great deal of success. It’s just that, well, some male adventurers don’t think the ladies belong—if you know what I mean. A bit silly if you ask me, but people can be silly about things like that.”

“No, I don’t have a problem with female adventurers,” said Alex.

“Right,” Mr. Clutter went on without waiting for Alex to say anything more. “Do you believe in brownies, dragons, dwarfs, elves, fairies, ghosts, goblins, griffins, pixies . . .”

Mr. Clutter continued to read names from the paper and Alex listened closely as the list went on and on. He wondered how long it would be before Mr. Clutter ran out of breath. Alex had never heard of most of the things on the list before, and those he did recognize, he didn’t believe in anyway. After several minutes, and what seemed like hundreds of names, Mr. Clutter appeared to be winding up.

“ . . . Sea serpents, skin changers, trolls, werewolves, and wraiths?” Mr. Clutter took a deep breath and looked at Alex.

“Well,” said Alex, feeling uncomfortable. “I—”

“We’ll just put yes on that one, shall we?” Mr. Clutter interrupted. “Not to worry, not to worry, most people don’t know half of the creatures listed.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“And we’ll put yes down on number seven as well. Everybody says yes to number seven.”