Tom kept listening.

“Having managed to escape Wonderland and faking a new life in this awful world doesn’t mean you don’t want to have your revenge,” she said. “Trust me, if you don’t let the madness out, you’ll end up like the Muffin Man, confused, not knowing who he is, and then die miserably.”

Tom was beginning to see where this was going.

“My plan is simple,” she said. “To get you to replace your human superiors, to replace your presidents, and to rule instead.”

A long silence fell on the room.

“Think about it.” She eyed everyone. “What good has any human done to the world? All this poverty, war, and—ahem—madness they caused. Humans think they can rule, but they’re just jub jubs, doing a lousy job. It’s time for us to rule this world.” She raised her hands in the air, the tension rising in the meeting hall. “It’s time for us to spread the madness!”

Tom shared the claps and enthusiasm of the crowd. He felt silly, but he also felt he needed it.

“And we’re not going to try to make a better job of what the failed humans did,” she elaborated. “We’ll make it worse. We’ll make the poor become poorer.”

“Yeah!”

“The rich become filthy freakin’ richer!”

“Yeah.”

“We’re going to turn humans into second-class citizens, if not animals.”

“Yeah!”

“We, Wonderlanders, are going to rule the world!”

“Yeah!” hailed Tom. How he wished he was really part of this revolution of madness.

“And to start the Wonderland Wars,” she said, “we’re going to spread our insanity bit by bit, until no insane person is locked away anymore.”

Tom clapped like everyone else. He realized that he might be as mad as everyone else. Maybe he wasn’t destined to direct an asylum. Maybe he was destined to be one of the great Wonderlanders.

He pulled out his bottle and spilled the pills on the floor. He didn’t need them anymore. He didn’t need to suppress his madness and hide from everyone. Instead, he needed to celebrate it like the Queen of Hearts did.

With anticipation, he awaited what was going to happen to the world in the coming days.

Chapter 80

Two days later,

the Pillar’s cell, Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum

“You’re all I have in this world,” I tell the Pillar, having asked Dr. Truckle for permission to visit him.

“I wouldn’t count on that,” he says, smoking his hookah. “At some point, I will leave you in all this mess, Alice. I am just guiding you until you find your purpose.”

“Fair enough. I don’t like you that much anyways,” I tease him.

“Never liked me that much, too.” He rolls his eyes. “So did you make up your mind, whether you’re one of them or against them?”

“I’m on Lewis’ team all the way,” I say. “I saw them in the dream. Lewis, Fabiola, that mysterious girl, Jack, and the March Hare. I am going to find them all and gather them to face Black Chess before they mess up this beautiful world.”

“Beautiful?” The Pillar raises an eyebrow. “I thought it was a mad world.”

“Mad is beautiful,” I say. “It has its flaws, but when shared with the good-hearted it’s beautiful.”

“So you’re going to continue to save lives next week?”

“Like I did this week,” I say. “I know you think it’s just a rabbit, but I am very okay with having saved one.”

“Rabbits are cute.” He took a drag from his hookah. “Just stop following them into their holes.”

I let out a light laugh. “You’re definitely right about that.”

“Did Margaret tell you about who this Hatter may be?”

“Nah. She just made her offer and I refused.”

“And you’re sure you don’t have grudges against people, having been put in the circus with the others in the past?”

“First of all, I am not sure that happened. Second, there is no point in holding grudges. Some people kill and do horrible things; other people are most lovable in this world. I need to learn how to tune my inner compass to find the good ones.”

“That’s poetic.”

“How about you, Pillar?”

“What about me?”

“Where you in the circus as well?” It’s an important question to me. I wonder if I’ll ever understand his motives.

“I was.” He nods, but he seems wary about talking about it. I wonder what they did to him. “I am surprised you didn’t see me in your dream—or whatever that Wonderland portal was. Which reminds me, do you still have that Wonderland map on your phone?”

“Nah, it stopped working when I woke up,” I say. “Why? Looking for something?”

“It’s just that there was this store that sold music in Wonderland.”

“What about it?”

“Instead of selling CDs they sold flamingos that memorized every tune in a certain album,” he says. “So you go pay for the latest Taylor Swift album and they give you a flamingo...”

“Who sings all the Taylor Swift songs.” I laugh. “That’s bonkers. But you still can buy any song here in real life.”

“That one song I am looking for, you can only find in Wonderland.”

“Really? What’s it called?”

“‘What if God Was Mad Like Us, Just a Nut Like Most of Us.’”

Chapter 81

Alice’s cell, Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum

Back in my cell I sit next to my silent Tiger Lily and enjoy the silence. There is this strange feeling that follows every episode of madness I encounter; it’s that euphoric feeling of: I’m great. I managed to survive another day in this insane world.

What a great feeling.

I plan to sleep today, continue my Mush Room sessions with Waltraud tomorrow, then wait for a new mission around next week. Let’s step it up a notch, Queen of Hearts!

For my own sanity, and safety, I make sure Lewis’ key is still hidden in the wall of the cell. It is, and it should stay safe in here.

I have no idea how I will get the next one, or if I will be able to get back the one with the Queen of Hearts now, but we’ll see what happens.

To put myself to sleep, I sing, “I am mad, mad girl in a mad, mad world, it’s not a bad, bad thing if I am crazy.

But suddenly, I hear someone sing it in the cell next to me. It’s not a girl’s voice but a boy’s.

I keep singing, and that boy sings with me.

Slowly it dawns on me. “Jack?” I whisper to the wall.

“Who else do you think is mad enough about you he’d voluntarily go in an asylum to be with you?” he says from behind the wall.

I place my two palms on the wall, wanting to hug it, and maybe kiss it. I can’t believe this is true.

“Jack,” I pant. “How did you make it? I thought you were crossing over to the other side.”

“Let’s put it this way,” he says in a smiley voice, “I told the guys in the hell to go to hell.”

“Poetic.” I laugh.

“I also told them I’m mad about you, so they suggested I came here,” he says. “They didn’t think I’d do it.”

“But I don’t think anyone can voluntarily come to the asylum. I mean, it’s ironic that if you tell someone you’re mad, they probably won’t believe you.”

“Not until you walk butt naked across the street in front of them,” Jack chirps.

I laugh hysterically.

Then the evil thought hits me that I may be just imagining it.

I turn around and watch my Tiger Lily. She is just standing still. She isn’t talking to me, so Jack must be real.

“I missed you so much, Jack,” I tell him.

“Me too,” he says. “How about we go on a date tomorrow?”

“Date? Where?”

“I managed to slip my name to Waltraud,” he says. “So I’m right behind you in the Mush Room list. Not a bad place to meet.”

I am floored. Laughing. Happier than ever. I love this goofy and weird guy. He just wants to be with me. What else can I ask for?

“It’s a mad world, Alice,” he says. “But together, we…”