"I just mean that maybe having something good and then having to let it go is more painful than never knowing what you're missing."

She looked thoughtful. "Yeah, maybe," she said.

We were both quiet for a few minutes. I looked down at her and put a piece of hair behind her ear. "So pretty," I murmured.

She smiled a shy smile. "Do compliments make you uncomfortable?" I asked. She always looked just a little uncertain when I gave her one. Surely, she had to know how beautiful she was.

"They usually do, but I love hearing them from you," she said quietly. "I grew up with a dad who was a guy's guy, the 'strong, silent type.' He was a great dad, but he didn't ever tell us girls we were pretty. He wasn't the type to dish out compliments on any subject really." She looked thoughtful for a minute. "If he was happy with you, you knew it by the silent, prideful look in his eyes and maybe a chin lift in your direction. I learned to get that look and that chin lift with my accomplishments, never my looks." She shrugged slightly.

I nodded, thinking that in that regard, we were probably polar opposites. I got by on my looks, rarely the things I did, or didn't do. "Well, just for the record, you're beautiful. A beautiful little Buttercup." I smiled at her and she smiled back at me.

"And you're a beautiful desert hyena," she teased back.

I laughed. "I've been given a lot of compliments in my time, but I think that may have been the best one," I said.

She laughed back and then was quiet for a few seconds. "Tell me about your first time," she grinned up at me.

I put both hands up behind my head and gazed at the ceiling, faking dreamy recollection.

"Sandra Daniels. We were fifteen. I liked her, a lot. We spent one beautiful afternoon together at my apartment." I grinned down at Grace and then tilted my head. "The next day at school, as I was walking up to her locker with her favorite breakfast bagel in hand, I heard her telling her friend that now that she had gotten rid of her virginity, she could move on to someone serious who was more suited to a relationship, not just sex. I was crushed."

I grinned down at Grace, but Grace was the one who looked crushed. "Carson–"

"Oh no, no, don't get that look on your face. I was fifteen, Buttercup. I'm over it. Scout's honor." I held up two fingers in the Boy Scout salute.

She didn't smile and instead blinked at me and then looked down. When she finally looked up at me again, her eyes were filled with regret. "It's exactly like my stupid plan, isn't it?" she breathed. "It's awful. I'm awful."

"Whoa. Wait. I didn't tell you that story to try to compare you to her. I swear. You asked and that's how it happened. Like I said, we were fifteen. It's different."

She nodded, but then was still and quiet, a small frown on her face. "Carson, I want you to know something. I know that our little 'arrangement' this weekend started out like that, but well, I don't consider you 'Guy Number Two' anymore, and I never will. You're more than that to me. To me you're Carson, my special desert hyena." She attempted a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. She was being way too hard on herself–we had arranged this together. She didn't have anything to feel badly for, at least not in my book.

I grinned at her and kissed her forehead. "Well, I'll tell you what," I finally said, "I'm just glad this bed is so nice and big, because if you fall out in the middle of the night, I'm not going to have any problem dragging you back up. Never let go, baby."

She finally gave me a genuine smile, and I saw her relax. She brought one hand down to tickle my side.

I laughed out, turning to tickle her back. She squealed and we play-wrestled for a few minutes until I looked into her eyes and saw that she was turned on again. So was I. Fuck, my Buttercup was really going to be the end of me.

I leaned in and slanted my mouth over hers, kissing her until we were both panting and lust was shooting through my veins again, stiffening my cock.

I pushed the hair back out of her face and looked into those clear, blue eyes before I ran my nose down hers, and then brushed my lips over her mouth.

I reached my hand down between her legs to make sure she was ready to take me and when I felt the slippery wetness there, I moaned.

I lowered my head to lick her nipples, sucking one into my mouth and taking long pulls at it until she was grinding against me and pulling at my hair. I knew what I was doing in the bedroom, but Christ, how was it that this girl hadn't had one orgasm from the first doofus she was with? She was so damn responsive, perfect. He must have been the most un-skilled loser on the planet. I put him out of my mind as quickly as he had entered it. No one else was gonna be in this bed right now, just me and her.

I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom and slid it on as she watched, her eyes widening slightly when she took in my straining erection. Our eyes met and something passed between us, intense but tender. I didn't know what it was and in that moment, I didn't analyze it.

I took my cock in my hand and guided it to her opening and pushed inside her tight, silken warmth, never taking my eyes from hers. "Grace," I breathed out as I started to move inside her. I adjusted my angle so that I was hitting the internal spot on her inner wall. Her eyes closed on a moan and she wrapped her legs around me.

I brought my mouth down to hers and kissed her deeply, possessing her with my tongue and my cock, feeling something powerful surge up in my chest. I brought my mouth to her neck and licked and kissed the satiny soft skin there as she made gentle sighing sounds. "Mmmm… feels so good, Carson," she moaned out.

I loved that I was making her feel good, loved hearing her say my name, loved the tender look in her eyes as she watched me above her.

I moved in and out of her slowly and deeply, not speeding up the tempo, wanting it to last. "Carson, I want..." she moaned.

"What Grace? What do you want," I choked out.

"Everything. I want everything," she panted. "Everything you have to give."

My head came up from her neck and when her eyes met mine, they widened and burned into mine. I didn't want to look away from those eyes, I was lost in them, lost in her.

Heat pooled in my balls and pleasure circled through my abdomen as I sped up my rhythm. I reached down between us and circled my finger on her pleasure spot, eliciting a long moan from her. That moan shot through my body, ending at the base of my spine, the first tingles of an orgasm taking hold. She was going to be my undoing, in ways I didn't want to consider.

As I felt her internal muscles begin to contract around me, I let go and my own climax exploded, hot and intense, blissful. I brought my mouth back down to hers and kissed her deeply as she spasmed and pulsed around me, and I emptied myself into her.

I lay with my head buried in her neck for a few minutes until our breathing evened out and I registered that she was running her fingernails up and down my arms. I sighed in happiness. Then I leaned up and kissed her on the mouth and smiled as I pulled out of her.

As I was flushing the condom, it registered that that hadn't been fucking. That hadn't even been just sex. I had just made love to Grace.

Grace

Someone evil and cruel, a demon from the depths of Hades, shook my shoulder in the early morning darkness. I smelled Carson's scent close to me and inhaled deeply on a smile and tried to nestle back into the blankets. I loved that smell. It was just a dream, a dream I thought was bad at first, but was turning good, very good. "Wake up sleeping Buttercup," I heard whispered into my ear on a minty breath.