Margaret sighed. "I should have.” She tried her best to avoid the Queen’s blaming eyes.

"The Muffin Man has to be stopped this time, Margaret.” The Queen said.

Margaret nodded twice, saying nothing, looking at her feet.

“Killing people is merely the worst he can do. You know what the real threat of the Muffin Man is." The Queen elaborated.

"I know." Margaret said. "He could expose—"

"Shhhh," the Queen warned her again. "I said I don't even want to talk about it. That's what the Cheshire wants. He wants to expose that secret you were about to discuss. The people of Britain, and the whole world, shouldn't know about our secrets."

"Damn the Cheshire!" Margaret sighed. "I shouldn't have used him as an assassin, or he wouldn't have known so much.  But I had a lot of dirty work to take care of. Sudan, Libya, and—"

"I said enough." The Queen began to lose her patience. "You make it sound like we're the only ones who take care of our dirty business. You think the Americans don't do the same? You think all those third world countries don't do the same? If you want to rule, you have to sacrifice a few things."

"You're right." Margaret pantomimed zipping her mouth. "It's just that I'm sometimes confused which side the Cheshire is on. Which side are we on? And the Pillar, whose damn side is he on?"

"We don't need to know any of this now." The Queen sipped her tea with unmatched delight. "No Wonderland War is possible without the Real Alice being found. All we need to  do is catch the Muffin Man. I have a clear idea how.” The Queen licked her lips, offended by the dog saliva present in the tea again and again.

“How, My Majesty?”

Disgusted by the taste of tea, The Queen stood up and threw the teacup against the wall. Margaret ducked to avoid the flying cup and its saucer while Maddog ran to lick the tea. "Bloody awful tea, smells of dogs all the time!" The Queen roared.

Margaret wondered if she should have better left. But then Queen took a deep breath and calmed down a little. “To stop the Muffin Man, you have to find the Cheshire. Let’s make a deal with him. Let’s promise him a piece of the pie.”

Chapter 4 3

Alice Wonder's house, 7 Folly Bridge, Oxford

The girl at the door had tears in her eyes. She faced Alice's mother, unable to utter the words coherently.

"What happened?" Alice's mother shook her, almost predicting what the girl was about to say.

"I'm sorry, but your daughter, Alice Wonder, died yesterday," the girl announced. Alice's mother sank to her knees, holding on to the girl's hands, as if she had always feared her daughter would die this young.

"How did she die?" asked Edith, Alice's older sister. Her tone was inquisitive and disbelieving. She stood a few steps shy of the threshold, unimpressed by her mother's sentiments.

"She was present in the Drury Lane Theatre when the audience died of pepper poisoning."

"There is no such thing as 'pepper poisoning,'" Lorina, Alice's other sister, grunted, smoothening her fingernails behind Edith. Her sister's death seemed unimportant to her. She wanted to know, though. "The audience were poisoned with something that looked like pepper."

"It's not like that." Edith tapped her sister's hand so she would stop smoothening her fingernails. The sound of it made her go crazy. "They died from sneezing."

"You can't die from sneezing, Edith." Lorina rolled her eyes. "That's like saying a person could die from too much makeup."

"If you can die from hiccupping and laughing, you can die from sneezing," Edith said, not taking her eyes off the stranger girl at the door.

"Shut up!" their mother yelled. "Your sister is dead."

"Hallelujah!" Lorina rolled her eyes again.

"We're not sure, Lorina. Don't go on celebrating yet," Edith said. "Why wasn't Alice in the asylum? Did she escape?" she asked the girl at the door.

"And where to? Theatre?" Lorina felt the urge to roll her eyes for the third time.

"Unless she was the crazy cook who sneezed the audience to death." Edith snickered and high-fived Lorina.

"She wasn't the cook," the young girl at the door said politely. "She is dead. I'm sorry."

"Are you here to send us a death certificate?" Edith asked.

"No, I'm afraid that is something you will have to do yourself after you confirm her death at the morgue."

"I'm not going to any morgue," Lorina said. "I just had my hair done."

"I have an appointment to...get my hair done," Edith said.

"I will go." The mother stood up feebly.

"But I'm not here for that, madam," the girl at the door said. "I'm here to collect a photo of Alice Wonder for the obituary, which the Theatre Royal will take care of."

"I will get you one," the mother offered.

"I'd prefer to fetch one myself, if you don't mind," the girl said. The two sisters threw her a long, suspicious look. "There is a hefty compensation for you if I pick an appropriate photo that lives up to the standards of our theatre," the girl added.

"Oh," Edith said, neglecting the absurdness of the girl's request. "Why didn't you say so? Please come in. Do you happen to know how much the theatre will pay us?"

Chapter 4 4

Alice Wonder's room in her mother's house

The mysterious girl asked to be alone in the room. To ensure the two sister's compliance, she gave them a reward ticket: a lifetime of free food stamps at most of Britain's junk food stores and a sincere apology on behalf of the Theatre Royal for the death of their daughter.

Edith, who was a bit chubby, with a few freckles on her face, couldn't hide her excitement. Food for life? Now she wouldn't have to worry about the budget she spent on Snicker Snacker double bars, Queen of Hearts Tarts, or the latest Meow Muffins.

Lorina, on the other hand, said she couldn't use the ticket much, since she had to take care of her figure—and, of course, her delicate fingernails. She said she would invite all of her friends and make them owe her. She believed it was always good to have her friends owe her.

Alice's mother said she would use the food to give to the poor and ask them to pray for her dead daughter.

"Insane daughter," Edith corrected her mother. "The fact that she is dead doesn't mean she wasn't insane. If bad people go to hell, and good to heaven, where do the insane go?" She thought it was a funny line, and she laughed at her own joke.

"Was she really insane?" the girl from the theatre asked.

"Since she was seven years old," Lorina said, unsatisfied with the stain the ticket caused on her fingertips.

"Really? What happened?" the girl asked, about to enter Alice's room.

"We lost her when she was a kid," Edith said. "When she returned, she said she was..."

"Was what?" The girl was unusually curious.

"She thought she was Alice and said she had been to Wonderland and back," Lorina replied. "She is insane, no doubt about it."

"You're not telling it like it is," Edith said. "Why are you hiding the best part of Alice's return?"

The girl from the theatre almost tiptoed. She definitely had to know about that part. "What was the best part?"