I waited in fearful trepidation.

I was relieved when I heard that the Emperor was sending a new ambassador to England. This was Simon Renard, a man of high diplomatic reputation in whom he had great confidence. I was sure that the good and honest Scheyfve would not be competent to deal with events which seemed imminent. The Emperor would want a man to be a match for Antoine de Noailles, the French ambassador, who had recently arrived on the scene.

At last there came a communication from Northumberland. He thought it would be wise for me to come to Court; a similar summons was sent to my sister Elizabeth. I wondered what she would do. She was not in the acute danger which I was in, but nevertheless her position could be precarious.

I left Hunsdon with a small company and moved south, but at Hoddesdon I waited, uncertain how to act.

If my brother died, I should be on the spot. Yet, on the other hand, Northumberland would be there, and I could be in danger.

While I was wondering which way to turn, Susan came to me to tell me that a man had arrived; he had obviously ridden some way and was exhausted, but he made it clear that he must see me without delay.

I had him brought to me, and I recognized him as a London goldsmith who had done some work for me on one or two occasions.

He knelt to me.

“My lady,” he said, “the King is dead, although it is not yet known. I came with all speed to tell you this.”

“Someone sent you?” I asked.

“Sir Nicholas Throckmorton, my lady. He bade me tell you that, although the King is dead, the news will be kept secret for some days…and it would be inadvisable for you to come to Court.”

Sir Nicholas Throckmorton! I knew of him. He was a firm upholder of the Reformed Faith. He had been a close friend of my brother; and I remembered that at the time of Anne Askew's execution he had been one of those who were present when she died; he had gone to give her his support.

Why had he sent this man to warn me? He would not want me to be proclaimed Queen, for he would know that when I came to power my first act would be to return the Church to Rome.

If only it had been one of my old friends, a Catholic like Gardiner, I could have believed him. But Gardiner was a prisoner in the Tower. It would have been to his advantage to see me crowned Queen. But Throckmorton… Why did he warn me? It might be that he knew Northumberland was planning to kill me. There were some who would never connive at murder, even of those of a different faith.

I saw that the goldsmith was given refreshment, and I thanked him.

Whatever Throckmorton's motives, I knew I must not walk into Northumberland's trap. I sent a message to Scheyfve and to Simon Renard, to tell them that I was going to Kenninghall in Norfolk because sickness had broken out in my household. They would know that was a diplomatic excuse.

It might well be that the King was not yet dead and that this was some trap laid for me; but if it had been so, would they have sent the message from one who was known to me to be of the Reformed Faith? It was all very mysterious, but something within me told me that my brother was indeed dead.

I set out with a small party, choosing unfrequented roads for fear we should meet horsemen from London, as I could guess what orders they would have been given if Northumberland really intended to take my life. I would be close to the coast and then, if need be, I could take a ship to the Netherlands.

I very soon learned that I had done the right thing. Soon after I left Hunsdon, one of Northumberland's sons had arrived with 300 horses to escort me back to London. I should have been a prisoner, and that would have meant that my end was imminent.

From Kenninghall I wrote to the Council. I reminded them that my father had made me successor to my now deceased brother Edward and so I was the Queen of this realm. I knew they had worked against me, but by proclaiming me Queen without delay there should be an amnesty and I should bear no grudge against them for the malice I had in the past received at their hands.

They had no respect for me. To them I was a woman merely, and one who did not enjoy good health at that. I had no one to help me, they thought, except a cousin in another country who was too immersed in his own affairs to come to my aid.

They proclaimed Jane Queen, and they wrote to me telling me that I was a bastard and had been named as such by my father in his will I was now citing; and if I were wise I would accept the new regime and my position in it.

“Never!” I cried to Susan. “Now I see the way ahead. I will fight for what is mine and if necessary die in the attempt to seize it.”

“But we must not stay here.”

“No,” I agreed. “Indeed we shall not. I intend to ride on to Framlingham.”

Framlingham Castle is a strong fortress. It belonged to the Howards, and when the Duke of Norfolk had been sent to the Tower—where he still was, because my father had died before signing his death warrant—his goods had been seized and with them this castle, which my brother had given to me.

It was in an ideal position, being close to the coast, which was another point in its favor, for it might be necessary for me to take flight. It had an inner and outer moat running close to the walls except on the west side where a great expanse of lake gave enough protection. The walls were thick and looked impregnable. It would be a formidable fortress, and I was fortunate to have it in my possession.

All along the road people followed me. They had heard the news that the King was dead, and they could not believe that Jane Grey had been proclaimed Queen. They had never heard of her, yet they had all known the Princess Mary since she was a child, and many of them had been indignant at the manner in which her mother had been treated, on account of her being disowned by her husband. I was indeed well known throughout the country and I had always had the sympathy of the people wherever I went.

And I was never more welcome than now. They clustered round me, calling my name: “Long live Queen Mary!”

By the time I reached the castle, several thousands were following me. It was comforting to see them camped outside the castle walls.

My standard was flown over the castle, and I felt my spirits lifting, especially when I was told there were some 13,000 encamped round the castle, swearing to protect me from the false Queen and the man who had set her up. Although my hopes were high, I felt I must not be too optimistic. Those people had only their loyalty and, although that was wonderful, it could not stand up against trained men of an army.

Northumberland had the control of the best in the land, and now he was calling me rebel and uttering threats against me. If he captured me, he could call me traitor; he could have me sent to the Tower and out to Tower Green, where my blood would mingle with that of those who had suffered before me.

In all my euphoria I never lost sight of that possibility.

We were moving fast toward a climax. I thought: The next few days will decide. Northumberland was setting out on the march. He was coming to take me himself. When I looked at my good and faithful followers, I wondered if I had done right. I had not run away when I had been tempted to; and if I failed now, it would be the will of God. I had done all in my power to succeed.

I was resigned. I could not see how my forces could triumph over Northumberland's trained men. I thought of David and Goliath and of Daniel in the lions' den. Men had overcome great odds before, and because God had been with them they had prevailed.

I prayed that God would stand beside me. I must succeed. If I did not, I should have lived and suffered in vain. It would all be so pointless. But if I could do this wonderful thing, if I could succeed in what all Catholics were willing me to, then everything that had gone before would have been worthwhile.