He decided to cut her off right there because this had nothing to do with the baby and he was having a really hard time following this conversation with her towel drooping in the front and flashing an indecent amount of cleavage that had him shifting in his seat. He wondered if it would always be like this, where he couldn't keep his mind out of the gutter around her and knew it would. When they were in their nineties he'd probably be chasing her down in his wheelchair, desperate for a kiss.
"This has nothing to do with the baby, Zoe," he said softly, interrupting her and earning a groan of frustration.
"Of course it does, Trevor. Up until a couple of days ago you didn't want anything more than a sexual relationship with me," she said softly, but he didn't miss the slight tremble in her voice and it killed him that he'd hurt her.
"We both agreed to that arrangement, Zoe," he reminded her gently. "I'm not the only one who was willing to settle, sweetheart, but I promise you I stopped looking at you like you were just a convenience a long time ago."
"And now you want to get married," she said flatly.
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "More importantly I want you."
She worried her bottom lip even as her eyes watered and he knew she was softening. He just had to show her how much she meant to him and everything would be okay.
"I can't do it, Trevor," she said, shaking her head. "I can't go from being nothing to you to suddenly being your wife. How do I know that anything will change? I can't be married to a man who's never even held my hand in public or acknowledged me in any other way than just his tenant."
As much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. For the past couple of months he'd been pretending that the best thing in his life didn't exist and that hadn't been fair to either one of them. Now that he gave it some thought he realized his current plan was kind of ridiculous. It would never work if she didn't trust that he meant what he was telling her. Ignoring her the way he had in public, and god was he a fucking moron, and then getting married was never going to work. He needed to show her how much he loved her and he needed her to know that he saw her as more than just his little tenant.
She was absolutely everything to him.
"That's a good point," he said, standing up.
"I'm glad you understand, Trevor. I think it's best if we-"
"How's your head?" he asked, interrupting her.
"Doesn't hurt that much," she admitted.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, knowing that she must be starving.
"Yes, but I think-"
"We should go out on a date tonight? I totally agree," he said, cutting her off because he had a feeling that she was about to suggest something he wouldn't like.
"A date?" she repeated, sounding a bit confused.
"Yeah, a date," he said, grabbing her hands and pulling her to her feet while she still looked confused as hell. He gave her a little nudge to get her moving in the direction of the stairs. "You know where I pick you up, you keep me waiting for a half hour, we go out, and I charm you while you hang on my every word. We eat, we talk and then at the end of the night you invite me in for a cup of coffee and I pretend to think it over since I'm such a gentleman," he said, choosing to ignore her little snort of disbelief as he guided her towards the stairs.
"But-"
"No, buts," he said, giving her another nudge to get her up the stairs. "Get your little butt up there and put something on that will drive me out of my mind."
"But-"
"Go," he said, giving her another nudge that thankfully got her moving. "The sooner you get dressed the sooner you can start fawning over me like a proper date and remember just because I agreed to go out on this date with you doesn't mean that I'm easy. I expect you to do a little work to get me out of my pants."
He couldn't have his future wife thinking he was easy after all.
Chapter 30
"What do you think, the blue one or the green one?" she asked, holding up of the pretty tops that she'd bought a few months back, but hadn't had the chance or reason to wear.
Until now.
She couldn't believe she was going on a date with Trevor. Although she was nervous about what people would say after their one and only date, especially when she started to show, right now she really couldn't care less. She knew people were going to talk after the babies were born and a lot of them were going to make issue out of the fact that Trevor was the father and because of that they'd probably always think the babies were either conceived out of pity or a night of drunken stupidity.
If worse came to worse she would move out of town where she could keep her children away from the majority of the gossip. There would always be talk, but as long as her children knew they were loved she could deal with all the nonsense. There was plenty of time later to deal with the drama. Right now she was going to enjoy her night with Trevor.
"Well?" she asked, holding the blouses up higher, but the two dogs lounging on Trevor's bed weren't exactly helpful as they took turns licking Mr. Cuddles' face. "I guess I'll go with the green one," she decided. They matched Trevor's eyes, but she didn't say that out loud mostly because she didn't know where Trevor was exactly and didn't want to take the chance of coming off as even more pathetic.
It was bad enough that he knew she was in love with him. He didn't need to know that she was also kind of pathetic. Even though she had no plans of accepting his ludicrous proposal, she fully planned on enjoying this night with him.
Tonight he was hers and not just when they were alone. Tonight she was going to know how it felt to have every woman wish that they were her because she was with Trevor. For once people weren't going to assume that she was his frumpy little sister, because tonight she didn't have to hide her feelings for him.
Even though she had absolutely no doubt that he cared for her she really didn't think he loved her. How could he? She wasn't beautiful or special in any way, besides if he loved her he would have shown her long before he found out that she was pregnant. It was kind of nice that he was willing to lie to her to make her feel better and for tonight, just tonight, she was going to pretend that he really did love her and enjoy her one special night with him. When the kids asked about their relationship she could honestly tell them after tonight that they'd dated and it just hadn't worked out.
Tomorrow she would find a new place, a smaller place that she'd be able to afford with her savings for the few months that she wouldn't be able to work. She didn't have to ask to know that Trevor would help her financially, at least where the kids were concerned. It was more than her mother ever had so at least she wouldn't ever have to worry that she wouldn't be able to support her kids, because Trevor wasn't the kind of guy to skip town just to get out of child support like her own father had.
If worse came to worse she could always ask Trevor to rent her one of his apartments. It wouldn't be an ideal situation, especially once he got married, but if she had no choice she'd suck it up for her kids. This really wasn't the way she wanted to start a family, but none of that mattered now. What was done was done.
Tonight was her one special night with Trevor and she was going to enjoy it, she decided as she pulled on her green blouse and fixed her hair. Everything was going to be perfect.
A small knock at her door caught her attention. She gave her hair another look and decided there just wasn't any way to hide the small white bandage of her forehead. Taking a deep breath she shoved away her disappointment that she wasn't more of a girly girl and opened her bedroom door and forgot how to breathe as she came face to face with a bouquet of baby pink roses held by one of the best looking men she'd ever seen and tonight he was all hers.