With quick, practiced movements, she pinched the top of the condom and rolled it efficiently down my hard length. I couldn’t even give a flying fuck that she’d obviously done it a few times, I just needed in. Once she took her hands off me and gripped the back of my head again, I fisted the base of my cock, lifted her up slightly with my other hand and notched the head into her pussy. Our eyes met and held while she sank down oh so slowly, until our thighs met, until I was completely wrapped up in her warmth, the walls of her pussy clamping down once like she’d squeezed.

“Ohhhhhh shit,” she groaned, staying still for a moment while she adjusted to my size. Then she started to move. Just small movements, up and down and up and down, like she was reticent to rush us through to orgasm. Moving my hands from where I’d been gripping her hips, I wrapped my arms around her waist and dropped my forehead to her throat.

My heart beat like a bass drum in my chest and I actively tried not to crush her ribs, I was holding her so tightly. Those tiny rocking motions of her hips went straight from my cock into my veins, the sensations so overwhelming, chasing and rolling after each other until I couldn’t decipher their origin.

“You feel so good, Adele. So fucking good.” I started tilting my hips up every time she rocked down and it triggered the telltale tingle at the base of my spine. I held it off, not wanting this to end. Ever.

“It’s you, Nathan. It’s only this good with you.” Adele dropped her head back and started moving faster and harder, her tits bouncing and shaking with every downward motion.

That quietly spoken admission made me want to beat my chest and howl out into the world. I was making her feel this way. I was taking this untamed, savage being, this woman who could bring any man to his knees, and I was making her shudder and scream with pleasure.

I lifted up harder, pistoning my hips with as much force as I could in the limited space. The white heat shifted and grew, barreling down my spine, making my balls tighten up. So I dropped my head when she lifted up again, latched my mouth onto the side of her throat and bit down, sucking the sensitive skin hard.

We came at the same time, her pussy clenching on me in tight pulls, me moaning into the firm flesh of her throat, knowing I'd just marked her. I think she said my name, but I couldn’t be sure. I’d been so busy trying not to stop breathing from the force of the orgasm that I may have blacked out.

Sitting in the dark car, wrapped around each other and breathing heavily, I had a hard time remembering the last time I’d felt so good. So content.

“Thank you for my coat.”

I smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto her shoulder. “I’ll buy you a hundred coats if that’s what I get in return.”

The delighted laugh that I got in response made my previous feeling of contentment increase a thousandfold.

It didn’t actually hit me right away when I got home. It wasn’t until my phone lit up with a message that I noticed how few lights were on around me. I hadn’t immediately flooded the room with brightness, like I normally did.

It felt good. Not needing light bulbs to artificially banish my loneliness. And when I saw that the message was from Adele, who I could still smell on my skin, an easy smile covered my face.

So long, it had been so long since I’d felt anything close to this. And then I laughed, shaking my head when I read her words.

Adele: You bought me a coat, so I left a gift for you in your car. If you can find it, we’ll be even.

For a few seconds, I pretended like I was actually capable of not going directly to my car and searching it. About five, to be exact. I didn’t even take the time to respond, grinning while I contemplated what she might have left for me. I was in the car with her the entire time so she’d been sneaky. After opening the door and looking in the console, under my seat, and in the glovebox, finding nothing, I sank into my seat and sighed.

It felt like I’d regressed back to high school days, playing silly games that you already know you’ll outgrow as soon as people expect more from you. It was a lightness blanketing my soul that I hadn’t felt in years. Of curiosity and expectations, that feeling where even though you had no idea what would happen when you opened your eyes the next morning, you just knew it would be good.

Adele was making me feel that way; in one short week, I was excited to open my eyes in the morning. That’s when I saw the edge of pink lace sticking out from behind my visor.

“How the hell did you manage that?” I snatched the delicate corner and pulled it out. As soon as my eyes caught on the underwear in its entirety, on the row of black ribbons that wove through the edge along the top, my breath whooshed from my lungs. Bright, white spots danced in front of my eyes when I flung it away from me, the memory of one of my last nights with Diana flooding my brain.

“Are you sure you have to leave right now?” Diana asked, poking her head out from around the corner of our walk-in closet. I could see her bare shoulder from where I sat on the bed tying my shoes.

I grinned, knowing exactly where she was going with this, but still wanting to play. “Why?”

She shrugged lightly, dark brown eyes tripping down my body. “I got something new, thought maybe you could stay home with me tonight. Help me break them in.”

Sitting up and stretching my arms over my head, then bracing them behind me on the bed, I jerked my chin up. “Show me.”

Her head disappeared in a cloud of slick brown hair. “Oh, I don’t think you deserve to see. Ditching me on this yucky, rainy night to go meet your boys.”

“Show me.”

Of course, she made me wait for a moment, then walked out and faced me. I was hard instantly. Her trim, lightly muscled body was completely on display, except for a small pair of light pink lace underwear, black ribbons woven through the edge on the top. Her firm, high breasts lifted when she took a breath and set her hands on her hips. “You can look all you want, Easton. But unless you stay home with me tonight, you do not get to touch.”

She turned in place, showing me the perfect heart-shaped ass that I loved so much. I let her walk into the bathroom before I chased her, delighting in her surprised squeal that I instantly quieted with my mouth.

I pressed my hands into my eye sockets, focusing on calming my breathing so I didn’t succumb to a panic attack. It was what always happened when I let myself indulge in the good memories, the overwhelming heartbreak of recalling how happy we’d been. Because of course, the next time I had seen her, after walking out the door that night, had been when I was claiming her broken, lifeless body.

The tingling started in my hands and shot up my arms, so I launched myself out of the car and braced my hands on the roof. Running through the list of things I’d been told to do to stave off the anxiety that was roiling through me, I focused on five things.

I could feel the cool, smooth roof of my car.

I could smell the paint thinner on the shelf behind me.

I could count my heartbeat.

I could focus on the broken rake hung up on the wall across from me.

After going through that list three more times, the feeling returned to my hands and I could close my eyes without seeing Diana laying there, ready to be prepared for her closed casket service.

There was no way I could do this anymore. Because if I’d seen those underwear when they’d been on Adele, I’d have lost it. And I didn’t deserve these pockets of happiness that she’d been giving me anyway. Every minute of loneliness and ounce of guilt that had been heaped on my shoulders for the last four years was completely justified.