So I walked back into my house, flicking lights on as I walked through the rooms to find my laptop. Numbness crept through my veins as I clicked the keys. I couldn’t even care that I was taking the coward’s way out. But I knew enough to know that facing her right now, after what had happened in the car, I wouldn’t be able to stay strong. I stared at it one more time before I hit send, imagining how she’d take it.

From: Nathaniel Easton

Date: Monday, October 19, 2015 09:32 pm

Subject: I’m sorry

To: Alice Carroll

I can’t do this anymore, Adele. I’m not going to say some dick thing to piss you off enough that you’ll make this decision for me, I’ll just tell you the truth: I can’t do this anymore. This won’t affect your grade in my class, I’ll be able to stay objective. Please don’t fight me on this, because it’s the one thing I won’t be able to do with you. Just respect my decision, and trust that it’s in your best interest.

Best,

Nathan

• • •

I clicked send, then deleted all of her emails.

Suddenly exhausted, I stared at the blank screen of my computer for a few minutes, struggling to understand why that action made me want to break every item in my home, then set it all on fire.

Chapter Twenty

I ripped the gloves off my hands, sweat pouring down my heaving chest. When I’d hung the punching bag in my basement, I’d never considered that I’d need it to relieve tension from ending a non-relationship with one of my students.

Sleep hadn’t come, even though I’d tried. Instead I’d laid in my dark, quiet room and stared at the ceiling, wondering if Adele had seen my email, or if she’d responded. So I gave up after an hour and went to blow off some steam, the only other way that might work, given that sex wasn’t an option.

So I beat the hell out of the red, weighted bag. Not relenting in the slightest until I thought my shoulders might separate from the rest of my body, the muscles hot with overuse. I was taking a pull from my water bottle when there was a pounding on the front door.

12:03 AM.

There was only one person who would be attempting to rip my door off its hinges in the middle of the night.

“Shit,” I muttered and bounded up the stairs, not keen on letting her in, but definitely not wanting her to wake the neighbors. Wrenching the door open, I didn’t even wait to look at her face, I just yanked her in and slammed it behind her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Oh, she was pissed. Adele squared off in front of me, body shaking with rage. I knew it was rage and not the cold because there was holy fire burning in her eyes. But when she lifted both hands and shoved against my chest, I was so surprised that she actually managed to make me stumble backward.

“You are such a fucking coward I can barely even stand to look at you right now,” she seethed through clenched teeth.

“Well then maybe you should leave.”

She laughed, one sharp burst of sound. “There is no way I’m letting you get off that easy. Not even an hour, not even one hour after I walked into my apartment, you’re telling me it’s over. That you’re doing what’s best for me?”

“Adele,” I said, voice low with warning when she went to shove at me again, “you need to leave.”

She speared her hands into her hair and stared at me. “This is all so fucking familiar, isn’t it? Me showing up uninvited, you telling me to get the hell out of your house. But you do not get to write me off so quickly this time, Nathan.” Before I could blink, she ripped her shirt off, still wearing the hot pink bra from earlier, her breasts rising dangerously with her deep, panting breaths. Then she pointed at her neck and I had to look away, struggling to stand still, struggling to keep my temper in check. “You marked me tonight, you asshole. You put your teeth on me and you bit so fucking hard that I’ll have the shape of your mouth on me for days. And before it can even show up on my skin, you’re telling me to trust you, to respect your decision, to not fight you on this?”

This time when she dropped her hands and shoved me, I braced my legs so I stayed in place. My fists trembled at my sides from the effort it was taking to not shove right back. When I didn’t move, she got right up in my face.

“Fuck you, Nathaniel Easton,” she yelled, so close to me that I could smell wine on her breath. “Fuck you and your patronizing emails and your—”

I snapped, my vision clouding at the edges and my pulse roaring in my ears like a freight train about to flatten me. I gripped her upper arms and shook, my fingers denting into her skin so hard that I knew she’d bruise again.

“You think you’re the only one pissed off right now, little girl? Huh? Well, I’m fucking pissed too, okay?” Shoving her from me, absolutely terrified that she didn’t look afraid of my reaction, I just needed her away from me.

Her lips flattened and her eyes practically froze in her face, they looked so cold. “Oh yes, I could sense a wealth of emotion in that fucking email. Sounded like it was written by a robot. So yes, I’m absolutely overwhelmed by how much you’re feeling right now.”

I slammed a fist into the wall to my right, and she finally jumped a little. Good. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Her arms flung out to her sides, face incredulous. “Then tell me. You think you can order me not to ask questions, not to wonder just a little bit why you’re shoving me to the side mere hours after you screwed the hell out of me in the driver’s seat of your car?”

I almost laughed: here I’d been overwhelmed with guilt at feeling happy. Now I was very much not fucking happy. “I think you need a little reminder of whose idea that was. It wasn’t mine, honey.”

“Grow up,” she snapped, eyes flashing. “Did I rape you, Professor Easton? Did I tie you down and take advantage of you? Did I ignore your protestations and just shove your cock inside me? ” God, my veins were humming when she stalked toward me. I gave her a warning glare, but she straight up ignored it. I probably would’ve too, if I’d been her. Because wearing my loose gym shorts, it was painfully obvious that I was hard as fucking nails. Adele leaned up on her tip-toes, tilting her mouth so that we were only a tiny move away from touching. She dropped her voice to a whisper. “You’re a liar and a coward. And you’re scared of how fucking good it is between us. So if you’re not man enough to handle me, then just say it.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, I felt my restraint snap like it hadn’t been this iron bracket that I’d wrapped around myself. With her verbal challenge, it became a gossamer thread, slit clean in half with a butcher knife.

“Take your pants off.” Until I’d said, I hadn’t even really noticed that she’d changed since earlier. If she’d been wearing that skirt from before, I may not have even asked, just taken.

She started at my quietly spoken words, dropping down to the heels of her feet. “What?”

“Take your pants off, turn around and brace your hands on the wall.”

I clenched my jaw while she studied my face. She wanted to see how I felt? Wanted to know if I was man enough to handle her? Done. She’d get it in spades. I saw the instant she decided to play, saw the switch flip in her eyes.

“No.”

Ahh, so that’s how this would go. Instead of smiling like I desperately wanted to, I nodded once. Then I leaned down until our noses almost touched. “Take your fucking pants off, or I will do it for you.”

The crack of her hand across my face was so sharp and so unexpected that it stole my breath. If I hadn’t seen the hard points of her nipples through her bra, I’d have thought she seriously wanted to make me angry. We glared at each other, me rubbing a hand across the stinging skin on the side of my face, her taking a small step backward. I stepped forward and we both froze, waiting for the other to make a move.