“Mara?”

I turned to Daniel.

“Yeesh,” he said, taking a step back. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Or heard one.

I ignored him and took out my cell on the way to my room. I’d taken my pill this morning, just like I had every morning since the art show. But if the phone call was real, why wasn’t it showing up in the call history?

Freaked out, I dialed my father just in case. He picked up on the second ring.

“I have a question,” I blurted before even saying hello.

“What’s up, kid?”

“If you wanted to drop the case now, would you be able to?” My father paused on the other end of the line. “Mara, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just an academic question,” I said. And it was kind of true. For now.

“Okaaay. Well, it’s highly unlikely the judge would allow a substitution of counsel at this point. In fact, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t allow it.”

My heart sank. “How did the other lawyer get out of the case?”

“The client agreed to have me step in, otherwise Nathan would have been out of luck.”

“And your client wouldn’t let you back out now?”

“Doubtful. It would screw things up for him pretty badly. And the judge wouldn’t let it happen—she’d have me sanctioned if I pulled something like that. Mara,” he said, “are you sure you’re all right? I meant to ask you about therapy last week but I got tied—”

He thought this was about him. About him not being here.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said, as convincingly as I could.

“When’s your next appointment?”

“Next Thursday.”

“Okay. I gotta go, but we’ll catch up on your birthday, all right?”

I paused. “You’ll be home Saturday?”

“For as long as I can be. I love you, kid. Talk to you soon.”

I hung up the phone. I paced in my room like a wild thing, running over the phone call in my mind. I was on antipsychotic medication for hallucinations and possibly, probably delusions. I’d been all right for the past week, but maybe the pressure of exams had gotten to me after all. If I told my parents about the phone call but there was no evidence for it, nothing to back me up, what would they think? What would they do? My father couldn’t drop the case anyway, and my mother? My mother would want to pull me out of school to help me cope with the stress. And not being able to graduate on time or go to college right away—that would not help me cope with the stress.

I didn’t mention it.

I should have.

38

nOAH PICKED ME UP THE NEXT MORNING, but I was unsettled and silent on the way to school. He didn’t push. Even though this had been our routine for virtually every day for over a week, all eyes were on us as we walked from the gate through the quad. Noah’s arm never left my waist, but he did leave me at the door to Algebra, albeit reluctantly. Anna and Aiden breezed past us, making faces like they smelled something foul.

“You all right?” Noah asked me, tilting his head.

“What?” I was distracted, thinking about the call last night. And the metal forest at the art show. And Claire and Jude in mirrors. “Just thinking about my Bio exam later,” I told Noah.

He nodded. “See you later, then?”

“Mmm-hmm,” I said, and walked into class.

When I reached my desk, Jamie sauntered in and sat beside me. “You’re still with that prideful ass?”

I dropped my head in my hands and tugged at my hair. “God, Jamie. Give it a rest.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but Mr. Walsh had already started class. But I was sick of listening to Jamie whine about Noah, and today we were going to have it out. I narrowed my eyes at him and mouthed lunch. He nodded.

The rest of my morning classes flew by, and Jamie was waiting for me by the picnic tables at the appointed time. And for the first time I could remember, his eyes were level with mine.

“Did you get taller?” I asked him.

Jamie raised his eyebrows. “Did I? Crazy hormones. Better late than never, I guess,” he said, shrugging. Then he narrowed his eyes at me. “But don’t change the subject. We should be discussing your unfortunate taste in men.”

“What is your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem. You have a problem.”

“Oh? What’s my problem?”

“Shaw’s playing you,” Jamie said quietly.

I grew irritated. “I don’t think so.”

“How well do you really know him, Mara?”

I paused. Then said, “Well enough.”

Jamie looked away. “Well, I’ve known him longer.” He pushed his dreadlocks out of his face and chewed on his lower lip.

I watched him closely as he sat there, and after a minute the evidence clicked into place. “Oh my God,” I whispered. “You’re jealous.”

Jamie looked at me like I’d gone insane. “Are you insane?” he asked.

“Umm …” Maybe?

“No offense, sugar, but you’re not my type.”

I chuckled. “Not jealous of him, of me.”

Jamie’s face darkened. “I won’t lie, the boy is hot, but no. I don’t know how you stand him, honestly.”

“What did he do, Jamie?”

He was silent.

“Did he sleep with your mom or something?”

Jamie’s expression hardened. “My sister.”

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out at first. Then, “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“She graduated. She was a junior when Noah first started here.”

“Maybe … maybe he liked her.” I said. Something twinged in my chest.

Jamie barked out a laugh. “He didn’t. He only used her to make a point.”

“What point was that?”

Jamie leaned his head back and fixed his gaze on the thatched roof. “So you know I skipped a grade, right?” Jamie asked. I nodded. “Well, I used to be in his little sister Katie’s class. When Noah and Katie first started here, she was kind of confused about the material. So I helped her.”

“Like you helped me.”

“Except there may or may not have been tonsil hockey involved. I don’t remember,” Jamie said, as I raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Anyway,” he said pointedly, “Noah totally busted me with a hand up her skirt—she wears thongs, by the way. So hot. And the next day, I came home and all my extremely intelligent, pragmatic sister, Stephanie, could talk about was Noah.”

I felt a pang of something in my chest. “Maybe she liked him,” I said quietly.

“Oh, she did. A lot. Until she came home crying one Saturday night after they’d gone out.” Jamie’s eyes narrowed as he watched Noah approach us from the other building. “Noah humiliated her. She insisted on transferring out of Croyden, and my parents let her.”

“Is she okay?”

Jamie laughed. “Yeah. I mean, she’s in college, and it was a couple of years ago. But using her to make a point like that? Sick.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to defend Noah, but could I, really? So I said something else. “What happened with you and Katie?”

“Nothing. I didn’t want him screwing with Stephanie’s life more than he had, so I shut that shit down.” Jamie sucked in his bottom lip. “I really liked her too.” He tilted his head at me, his dreads falling to the side. “But none of this matters, because you’re not going to listen to your token black Jewish bi friend, are you?”

My eyes connected with Noah’s as he sauntered over. “I don’t know,” I said to Jamie, still watching Noah.

“It’s your funeral.” Jamie stopped talking a few seconds before Noah arrived.

“Roth,” Noah said, inclining his head.

“Shaw.” Jamie nodded back.

Noah stepped behind me and kissed my shoulder, just as Anna and Aiden appeared from behind the stairs.

“God, Mara, are you still holding out on him?” Anna said, tipping her head at Noah. She tsked. “Is that what I was missing, Noah?”

“The list of what you’re missing, Anna, is longer than the South Beach Free Clinic’s walk-in list,” Jamie said, and I was surprised to hear his voice. “Though I’m sure your hookup resume includes the same names.”

Noah laughed silently against my back and I flashed Jamie a conspiratorial smile. He stood up for me. Even though he didn’t agree with my choices. He was a good friend.