“Are you absolutely sure?” she says.

“Yes. I'm fine. I’m really sorry I freaked you out. I can’t really give you details and I’m sorry. My life… it’s a long story and my secrets don’t just belong to me. If I told you everything, I’d be hurting other people.” Sylas just watches me as I talk to Lo and I know he understands. It’s why he hadn’t made any deep connections with people before me. And I guess we sort of tricked each other into love.

“What’s so funny?” Lo says.

“Nothing. My mind was just wandering. Listen, I want to have a redo on tonight. I have tests all next week, but I’m free on Friday afternoon and I’ll be all yours. We could go shoe shopping and have dinner. How does that sound?”

“Good deal. Just as long as there are no crises that come up.”

“No promises, but I’ll see what I can do.” I can tell she’s smiling and I’m forgiven.

“I’d really love to know what your secrets are, Saige, but I’m not going to force you to tell me. I’ll love you even if you have to hide things from me.” There aren’t a lot of people who would be willing to do that, and I’m lucky we decided to be friends.

“Thank you, Lo. That means so much. You have no idea.”

“I know. I’m a wonderful friend. You’re very lucky to have me.” I laugh.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I end the call and shake my head.

“Everything good?” Sylas asks.

“Yeah. I’m lucky she’s so cool with everything.” I set the phone on the coffee table and lay back down across him.

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have friends on the outside. I never thought it could work. You’d always have that guilt for not telling them.”

“I do have guilt, but I can live with it. If I was hiding my life from you, that would be something else entirely. I don’t think I could do it.” I definitely know I couldn’t do it in that case.

“I know. In a way I’m glad you’re not who I thought you were. Things turned out good, in the end.” I smile and kiss the spot right where his heart beats beneath skin and bone and muscle.

“Fate,” I say.

He scoffs.

“Luck.”

We’re going to have to agree to disagree on that.

I’m ripped awake by Sylas shaking my shoulder.

“Saige! Saige! Wake up, it’s okay.” My eyes fly open. I’m gasping for air and my cheeks are wet with tears. Another nightmare.

“I’m okay,” I say, putting my hand on my chest where my heart is racing so fast, it’s like I’ve been running for my life.

“Do you remember anything?” Sylas says, pulling my sweaty body into his warm one. It helps ground me and suck me out of the terror of the nightmare.

I’m about to say no, but then there’s a quick flash. Something… I reach for it and pull out of the back of my head. It’s like trying to hold onto a wiggling, slippery thing. The harder I hold onto it, the more it struggles to get away. Just a little… there. THERE.

“Dark. It’s… dark. The trunk of a car?” I only see a dark enclosed space, but somehow I know it’s the trunk of a car.

“Were you trapped in the trunk of a car?” he asks but the nightmare skitters apart and is gone. But it’s more than I’ve remembered, ever. It’s a start. If I got that, maybe I can get more.

“I don’t… know. Maybe? I just know I was in one.” I feel like I should write this down so I don’t forget it.

Sylas brushes my sweaty hair out of my face. I need to change my clothes since my shirt and shorts are soaked with sweat.

“I’ll be right back,” I say and grab some clothes before going to the bathroom and using a washcloth to wipe myself down before I get dressed again. I wash my face and wince at the blotchiness in my cheeks. I hate crying. After I splash some cold water on my face, I go and get back into bed with Sylas. He holds me tight, as if to protect me from diving into the nightmare again. As if he has the power to do that.

“I’m okay,” I say as I close my eyes and attempt to sleep again.

I don’t know what time Dad is getting home from Texas, but I figure if I’m there when he gets back, he can’t avoid talking to me. Sylas and I are silent and grim when we get ready to head over in the morning.

I put in my septum ring and flip it down, just in case I see my mother. Riling her up will make me feel better.

“If you’re trying to distract me, then it’s working,” Sylas says, reaching out a finger and tapping my septum ring gently. For some reason I always feel more myself when I have this bit of metal in my nose.

“That wasn’t my intention, but I guess it’s a side benefit,” I say. “I’m hoping I see my mother and she sees it. I know it’s juvenile to bait her like this, but I can’t seem to stop.” If I didn’t rile her up, she might not even notice me. In some deep part of my brain, I know even negative attention from my mother is good. Maybe I should sign myself up for therapy too.

Sylas hasn’t talked about it further, but I’m definitely going to push him to do it. I know it will be good for him. Maybe if I offer to go with him that will make him more inclined to go. Hell, I’d trade sexual favors for therapy sessions. I’m not above doing that.

“Ready?” I say as he fiddles with the sleeves on his t-shirt. I’m not going to point out that he’s exposing his tattoos today. I’m not sure if he’s even aware anymore he’s doing it.

“Sure,” he says, taking a deep breath and then smiling at me.

“If you need to leave, or feel yourself getting panicky, let me know and I’ll get you out of there, okay?” I say, putting my arms around his waist and looking up at him.

“Will do,” he says, and I tilt my face up for a kiss.

Dad isn’t back when we get to the house, but my mother is lazing in the den when I walk in the door.

“Saige, I didn’t know you were coming over. You should have called,” she says, not getting up or putting down her wineglass. She’s probably going to be passed out in less than an hour.

I give Sylas a face and walk into the room.

“I’m here to see Dad. Well, both of us are,” I say and she looks up and sees Sylas. Her eyes zero in on his tattoos and then on my nose, going back and forth and back and forth, her eyes getting wider and wider. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying the change in expression.

She sputters and then turns away and back to her wine.

“I’m not going to talk to you with that thing in your face. Go take it out and then we can chat.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that,” I say, smirking. “Nice try, though.” I turn on my heel and leave the room, Sylas trailing after me. He doesn’t look embarrassed at all, which I absolutely love.

“You really know how to push her buttons,” he says.

“Hey, you’re the one who wore short sleeves,” I say, pointing it out. He looks down.

“I guess I just forgot,” he says and I can tell he’s being truthful. He’s getting more and more comfortable being himself. That makes me so happy.

“Come on, let’s hang out in the office and wait.” I can bring up the surveillance cameras and we can watch for when he pulls in the driveway. Sylas nods and follows me.

It’s a quick job to get the footage up and running.

“Do you have this all over the house?” he asks, looking over my shoulder.

“Yes. Well, except for the bedrooms. I do not need to see any video of my parents in bed.” Not that they do anything. I’m pretty sure they only had sex once, and that was to produce me.

“That’s probably wise,” he says as I flick through the other cameras in the house. Mom’s still sipping her wine and staring off into space.

Now we wait.