“I’ll wait for you.”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask.”

She smiled. “Thanks for being a good friend, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“Call me when you’re done then.”

“I will.” She shrugged off his arm. “Don’t worry about me.”

He didn’t think she was fine on a good day, and today was far from that. She almost felt a pang of regret for putting him in this position, but it disappeared quickly.

Bryna entered the hotel and took the elevator up to Jude’s room. Her hands were shaking when she reached his door. She took a few deep breaths until her body was calm and relaxed once more.

She repeated the mantra in her mind that had so often calmed her before, I am queen. I am queen. I am queen.

She knocked.

Someone shuffled around inside the room, and then the door was opening. She’d thought she was prepared. She’d thought this wouldn’t affect her like earlier when she hadn’t expected him. She had been wrong.

The breath whooshed out of her lungs at the sight of him. God, he’s beautiful. Up close, words didn’t do him justice. Dark hair, all-knowing dark eyes, those lips, that jaw—it was too much. He looked perfect in a suit. His tie was missing, and the top button had been undone. Her stomach fluttered.

She would not break. She could do this.

“Bri,” he said. He seemed to taste her name on his tongue.

She wished it had made her cringe, but it only drew her in.

She was fucked.

“Come on in.”

He opened the door wide, and she entered his suite. It was modest for his tastes, but she suspected he would only be here for the night. He would have gone more extravagant if he had to actually spend any time in the hotel. He clearly hadn’t been expecting visitors. He was a man of many pleasures and liked to showcase them.

“I knew you’d come.”

He walked up behind her. She could feel his presence so close to her. She forced herself to remain still. She was not intimidated.

“I’ve heard that before,” she said coyly.

He laughed lightly in her ear. She felt powerless in that moment, pulled into his enthrallment. She both loved and hated the feeling. This was why she had gotten with Hugh in the first place. She wanted the power. She could have her own exhilarating moments without the inevitable destruction that could follow.

“You know,” he whispered, “I’m glad you’re here.”

His hand slid across the small of her back. His touch was like an electric current under her skin. It would be so easy to lean into him. She could let him sweep her away in his tempting dance. But she knew she couldn’t, not if she wanted to make it out of here intact.

“Let’s not.” She stepped away and faced him. “I might be only a year older, but I’m infinitely wiser. I’m not going to drop at your feet over your seduction techniques.”

“Oh, how I do love you on your knees though.”

Bryna glared at him. This was not how she had envisioned the conversation. Though she hadn’t really known what it would be like anyway.

“Stop it,” she snapped.

“You’re right, of course,” he said, clearing the distance. “You’re so over it all.” He flicked the diamond necklace that he had given her.

She defiantly raised her chin. “Oh, you like my scarlet letter?” She held up her wrist where the bracelet Hugh had given her a couple of weeks ago was attached. “Looks like I’ve gotten another.”

Jude seemed surprised at first, and then his cool demeanor returned. “I see you’ve upgraded.”

“That is an understatement,” she said. She couldn’t keep the malice from her voice. “If this was all you wanted to say to me, then this was a total waste of my time.”

“You know why you came here,” he said. He stepped toward her, walking her backward. “You didn’t give a shit about what I might say. You came here because you haven’t seen me in a year.”

“I thought I would find an ounce of a decent human being, and I was wrong.”

He grabbed her around the waist. Her body distinctly remembered the feel of his touch. She wanted nothing more than to let those memories wash over her. She could drown in the memories.

“Stay here with me,” he said. His words weren’t even pleading. They were a demand, as if he thought he had any right to demand something from her.

His mouth was on hers a second later. She gasped, and his tongue slipped into her mouth. He tasted amazing. Her whole world surrendered. This was what it was supposed to be like, yet it was all wrong. She hated herself for enjoying it.

She roughly pushed him away from her. “How dare you! Jesus Christ! I cannot believe you’re trying to fuck me right now. You are married. You have a kid! If she knew you were here right now, you would never see the light of day again. I could bury you.”

Jude seemed unperturbed. “Oh, Bri, you wouldn’t—even if you wanted to.”

“You’re an asshole.” She was shaking again. She couldn’t seem to stop.

All the emotions she’d buried deep inside herself were breaking free. Everything felt too real.

“You ripped my life apart and left me without a word, and all you got was a slap on the wrist for your behavior. I should have known better than to think you would act like the grown-up in all of this.”

She glared at him. She was disgusted. In him. In herself.

“Bri, come on,” he said as she stormed toward the door.

This had been a mistake. A horrible mistake. Seeing him had fucked everything up rather than making everything better. She had thought it would be bad but not like this. Not like she had a gaping wound in her body.

“Don’t,” she snapped. “Leave me alone. Call your wife, and forget this entire thing.”

She rushed out of the room and down the hall. Jude didn’t follow her. She didn’t know why she had expected him to. It wasn’t in his nature to be kind or caring or loving. He’d wanted her to come to his hotel room to have sex. No consequences for him. He had never once thought about what it would do to her.

She couldn’t keep it together.

She fished out her phone and fumbled through her contacts to find Eric’s name.

He answered immediately. “Bryna, are you okay?”

Tears streamed down her face. “No,” she admitted. “Will you come get me?”

“I’m waiting for you outside.”

“You waited?” she asked. She didn’t know how long she had been inside with Jude, but it had been a while.

“I had a feeling you might need me to.”

She brushed the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

There he was, waiting in his Jeep out front just as she had left him.

She sank heavily into the passenger seat.

“I’m guessing that one-in-a-million shot didn’t happen?”

“No, it didn’t.”

She leaned across the car and rested her head on his shoulder. He didn’t protest as more tears leaked from her eyes.

“You were right. It’s worse now,” she whispered.

LIFE WAS A BLUR.

One big, hazy blur.

The weeks following her unfortunate meeting with Jude, Bryna felt like she had been transported in time. She was back to those first couple of weeks after Jude had walked out of her life. She was a zombie. A total mess.

Even her tired mantra couldn’t save her from the crippling depression. She walked through classes, cheer practice, parties, all of it with the pretend ease she normally ruled with. But she didn’t feel it, and she didn’t care.

Trihn and Stacia tried to pull her out of her funk, but they didn’t know what had happened. Any help they had was belied by their ignorance, and she refused to clue them in. They were busy with their own lives. Trihn and Neal were sickeningly cute together, and Stacia seemed to have some new guy she wasn’t talking about yet. It left Bryna with too much alone time, and thus, she spent a lot of her afternoons at Eric’s place, avoiding Pace.