“What are you doing?” she cried breathlessly.

“Kissing you, goddamn it!”

“You can’t just kiss me!”

“I just did. And you wanted me to kiss you. I can’t fucking pretend with you. Why are you pushing me away?”

He took a step closer, and her back pressed into the door once more. Part of her waited for his lips to be on hers again, and she told herself there was no reason to be disappointed when it hadn’t come.

“I was on a date tonight!” she spat.

“Stacia mentioned that.”

Bryna narrowed her eyes. “That couldn’t have anything to do with you being here?”

“Of course it does. What the fuck, Bri? You’re dating now? Who is this guy?”

“Yes, I’m dating! And it’s none of your fucking business who I date.”

“We slept together!”

“And I told you, we couldn’t be together!” she yelled back. “So, it still means you have no opinion on the matter.”

“How can you say that after that kiss? You’re afraid of being hurt. I know you. I know what happened with Jude.”

She cringed at the name.

“I was there for you that day. I saw what you were like. I know this Hugh guy did a number on you, too. I know your family fucked you up. Let me be the one to put it all back together.”

“Don’t you see? You won’t put it back together. Whatever you think this is, is a lie. I was only around you because I thought this could never happen. I don’t want this at all.”

“What do you want then?” he demanded. “Stacia said you’re not digging that douche anymore, and now, you’re dating some film student? This isn’t you.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be me anymore!” she cried. She threw her hands out and shook her head. Why is all of this so hard for him to grasp? “All I do is cause people a lot of problems. I get called a bitch and a slut, and I’ve never cared before, but I’m not a slut. For once, it’s nice to be with a guy who doesn’t treat me like one.”

Eric looked sad at the accusation. “I never did.”

“You fucked me in the locker room!”

“That’s not because you’re a slut, Bryna,” he said softly. He took a step toward her as if he could make her understand. “It’s because I’m crazy about you. When you’re not trying so hard to be someone else, this works.” He gestured between them.

Bryna rubbed her forehead in frustration. “I can’t do this tonight. I don’t want to fight. I came back from a date, and you’re ruining it.” She sighed and looked back up at him. “You should go. I want us to be friends again, but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. So…just go.”

“You’re right,” he said finally. “We’re not just friends. I want so much more than that.”

He leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips. His hands cupped her face, and she unconsciously leaned into him.

“I want this.”

“Eric,” she whimpered.

His hand went to her heart.

“And this.”

He kissed her again as his hands moved to grab her hips. He pulled her flush against him. “And this.”

Then, his hands climbed up her short skirt as he pushed her back against the door. “And this.”

“St-stop,” she whispered feebly.

“Tell me you don’t want this. I know you do. I can feel it.” His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

“I do…but…”

He drew circles up her thigh, closer and closer and closer. She closed her legs against him. She couldn’t…

“Why must you fight me?”

“Please,” she whispered as he spread her legs farther apart again.

As his finger trailed along the line of her thong, she wasn’t sure if she was even fighting him anymore.

“Please…” She didn’t know if she was asking him to stop or begging him to keep going.

“I want you, Bri.” His mouth was hot against her throat.

His finger dipped under her thong and pressed against her wet core. She groaned at the feel of him and how riled up she already was.

“I know,” she murmured incoherently.

His touch made her whole body quiver.

“Your body, mind, and soul. Do you want me to take your body?”

She shook her head, but the word that tumbled out of her mouth came as a shock to her, “Yes.”

He sighed with relief, kissed her shoulder, and then took a reluctant step backward.

“Eric?” Her vision seemed to clear all at once. She realized the spell he had cast on her and what she had been about to do. Suddenly she felt cold and empty all over again, trapped in this vortex of lust and sin that she couldn’t escape.

“Then, let me in. Your heart isn’t frozen or black, like you seem to think. You opened it to me before, and I want it again.”

“I can’t,” she said softly, woodenly stuck to the door.

“We’re hanging on the edge. Jump.”

She shook her head. “The problem with jumping is that you’re as likely to end up broken as you are to being saved.”

“Fine,” he said, shaking his head in dismay. “I’d rather take a chance on being broken. I guess you have to make up your mind on what you want.”

He grabbed the door handle, and she moved out of the way. He opened it and left, and she watched his retreating back as he headed down the hallway.

“I already have.”

Gold - _61.jpg

ERIC WAS A CONSTANT THOUGHT in the back of her mind.

Bryna didn’t know what had happened that night or how she had lost control so easily. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She was trying to move on with her life and make good decisions. But being around him perpetuated the darker side of her personality. She wanted and wanted and wanted when she was with him. She couldn’t get enough, and that was dangerous.

So, she avoided him during games and on the plane for away games and at the hotel and practices and everywhere else she saw him. She knew he was waiting for her to make up her mind, but it was so clear that she had already decided.

She’d chosen Cam. They had gone to lunch a couple of times after class, he’d message her a lot, and they’d chat online. It was real, stable, and normal. She liked where it was going even if they were moving at a glacial pace.

Of course, that was her doing since she had told him he couldn’t come in that first night, and he’d agreed to take things slow. It wasn’t bad. Her body was just on fire.

Cam was coming to the next home game and then they were going out with her friends afterward. She was excited for her friends to finally meet Cam, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about sharing him yet. She had never really dated anyone before who the girls could meet. Another new experience.

The night before the home game, she was lounging around the apartment with Trihn when the doorbell rang. Trihn hopped up and answered it. A minute later, she returned with an envelope.

“Um…this is for you.” She held it close to her chest.

Bryna raised her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah?”

She reached for it, but Trihn kept it away from her.

“It says Westercamp.”

“What?” Bryna asked, suddenly chilled.

“Yeah. It looks official, and a courier delivered it.”

Bryna snatched the envelope from her friend and tore it open. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Trihn asked anxiously.

The check she had left at the WC Resort fell out of the envelope and onto the coffee table in front of them.

“He returned it,” Bryna breathed.

“The check for the house? Oh my God. What are you going to do with it?”

“I…I don’t know. I thought I was doing the right thing by returning it. I never thought he would give it back to me.”

“You were doing the right thing,” Trihn said. She reverently held the check between her hands. “This is an absurd amount of money. You can’t keep it.”