“Jake,” I moaned, my nails biting into his back. “I can’t …” I felt shattered, like I was only held together by the tiniest cracks of light and if Jake pushed me one more time, I was going to break into a million pieces. My body wanted that but I didn’t know if I could take any more.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he breathed harshly and I nodded, silently asking him to do it, to move inside me and end the torture he’d started. He leaned over the bed and opened the drawer of his bedside table. He removed the small foil condom package and ripped it open with his teeth. With a proficiency I pretended not to notice, Jake rolled the condom on.

I felt his hands depress the mattress on either side of my head, his chest lifting up off my body. He nudged my knee with his and I opened my legs wider at his silent request.

I looked up into his eyes.

He stared back at me, his cheeks flushed, his eyes dark with a mixture of tenderness and love. “You ready?”

My chest gave way to the strange sensation of fluttering beats. I gripped him harder, needing to anchor onto him to fight the nerves. “Yes,” I managed. “No. Wait.”

He swallowed hard, his arms shaking a little. “Okay.”

“Do it fast.”

“Baby, no. I’ve got to be gentle. I could hurt you.”

“It might hurt more. Think of it …” I struggled to draw a full breath. “Think of it like a Band-Aid.”

He didn’t look certain at all. “I don’t think—”

“Please.”

I knew he could never deny me. He nodded slowly and I nodded back reassuringly.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” Jake muttered, his gaze still hot but adoring. “So beautiful. I used to think there was nothing prettier than looking up at the stars. That feeling I got, like I was part of something bigger than anything I could ever imagine. It’s one of my favorite feelings … and I get it every time I look at you.”

I felt my eyes grow wet as the connection between us tightened. “I know,” I said. I did know because I felt that way every time I looked at him.

Our kiss was just a lip brush at first but I pulled him back for more, something deeper, and as I sucked on his tongue, I must’ve snapped what little self-control Jake had left. I felt him press between my legs, and then he shifted his weight …

I cried out as Jake thrust inside me hard, pushing deep. A flare of pain rippled up from my lower back to sprinkle shivers across my shoulders and I tensed as Jake hovered above me, not moving.

“Baby, you okay?”

As the pain dissipated, I was left with this uncomfortable fullness, a strange sensation I wasn’t sure I liked. But when I looked up at Jake’s face and saw the bead of sweat on his forehead, saw the untempered heat and desire in his eyes, I knew Jake liked whatever he was feeling. “I’m okay,” I said softly.

At my assurance, Jake moved, pulling back until he was almost gone and then pushing back in. I ached, still unsure, but held on as he repeated it. As he withdrew again, I felt his thumb circle my clit and the ache disappeared under the stir of pleasure. The next time Jake withdrew, I muffled a cry of surprise at the delicious sensation that moved through me and I arched my hips trying to pull him back.

“God, Charley,” Jake growled and I felt his thrusts pick up speed.

Soon I’d forgotten where we were, and all I cared about was our bodies and what his was doing to mine. I slid my hands down his back and clutched at his buttocks, pulling him into me.

“Baby,” came Jake’s guttural response. “I’m going to lose control.”

“I want you to,” I replied, my words choppy and breathy.

“I’m trying to go slow,” he reminded me through gritted teeth.

“No.” I pressed him deeper.

He gasped and his hips slammed against mine, his dick moving so deep in me, it was almost painful. By that point I didn’t care. He thrust into me a couple of more times and then stilled, his neck muscles straining as his hips jerked against mine in hard climax.

Finished, he tried to catch his breath and melted on top of me, his hands moving down my waist as he rested his forehead on the pillow next to my ear.

I stroked his back, running my hands soothingly over his damp skin. I smiled as his hand squeezed my waist. He was still inside me, his body heavy on mine. Wonderful contentment settled over me.

I’d just given my virginity to Jake Caplin and he’d just given everything to me too. This was it. This was our lives now. Laughter and kindness and affection and friendship and great sex.

Lucky didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

“I tried to wait,” he muttered, lifting his head to stare into my eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I stroked his cheek, my smile probably a little goofy. “It was amazing.”

“You’ll come next time,” he promised, brushing his lips over mine before he lifted himself up onto his hands again. I flinched a little as he pulled out and realized that I was actually pretty sore. He saw my flinch. “You okay?”

I smiled, this time flirtatiously. “A little sore but I’m definitely okay.”

Without saying another word, Jake got up and disappeared out of the room. A minute later he returned condomless and carrying a cloth. He crawled back into bed and pressed the wet cloth between my legs.

“What are you doing?”

He smiled, his love for me so glaring, I wanted to dive all over him again. “Taking care of my girl.”

“You know I don’t need you to,” I teased, “but I like that you want to.” I arched an eyebrow at him playfully. “Do you promise to take care of me for the rest of forever, Jacob Caplin?”

His eyes were grave as he replied, “I promise. For the rest of forever.”

It was nothing short of a miracle that I’d managed to secure a table in the main campus library. I had my laptop all hooked up and was going through my notes for class. Exams started in a week. Fun.

It would be even more fun if I could concentrate. I pushed my laptop aside and opened one of the books I’d had to buy for class. By the second page I gave up and pushed that aside too. Not a thing was penetrating my thick skull—my thick skull that was painted with images of Jake from last night.

For the third time since Thanksgiving, Jake stopped by the apartment to hang out. I deliberately steered us clear of my room so we hung out in the kitchen. Sometimes the girls dropped by, but for the most part we were alone. Like we’d been last night.

Last night reminded me too much of the old Jake. Although we were good with banter, we’d kept things fairly light conversationally since our foray back into a friendship. Until last night …

“Something’s up with you.”

At the pronouncement, I glanced over at him, sitting in the corner at the window, his long legs stretched out and resting on another chair. I was tucked in a corner opposite him, his feet only inches from me. Jake had his head tilted to the side, his face searching, concerned.

“What makes you say that?”

“When you’re really with someone, you give them your entire focus. When something’s on your mind, you give rote answers. And you’re way less of a smart-ass.”

“I’m not a smart-ass,” I responded automatically, my lips curling up at the corner.

Jake smiled back at me but nudged my knee with his foot. “Come on. What’s up?”

“Nothing is up.” Everything is up. My mom and dad still won’t talk to me about being a cop. They’re annoyed I’m hanging out with you. My best friend is in some weird semi-non-relationship. And then there’s you.

“It’s the law school thing, isn’t it?”

My brow wrinkled in consternation. “What makes you say that?” It bugged the hell out of me that Jake would be the one to notice my preoccupation with my career issue.

He shrugged. “You’ve been talking more and more about being a cop. It’s as if you’re trying to plant it so deep inside you that when it comes to telling your parents you don’t want to be a lawyer, you’ll be in too deep for them to try again to talk you out of being a cop.”