Feeling sick, I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see. “I don’t want to talk about this, Jake.”
“I know. It just … it would kill me if you thought I fell out of love with you. Or worse … that I was never in love with you.”
“Jake, what are you doing?” I asked, panicking now. “There’s no point to any of this. You’re with Melissa.”
“And I love her.” I closed my eyes at his declaration, fighting tears, desperate not to give into them. “But I didn’t even know her when I applied to study here for the year.”
Fighting the tears meant choking on them. I had to take a minute before I responded. “You knew I’d be here.”
“I hoped you’d be here, yes.”
I covered the phone while I tried to catch a painful breath. After I counted to ten, I exhaled and put the phone back to my ear. “And then you met her.”
His breath crackled on the line. “Yeah.”
I was going to break. “Jake, I have to go.”
“Charley—”
“Claudia’s at my door.”
“Oh. Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” he sounded unsure.
“Yeah. Bye.” I hung up and threw my phone on my bed just in time to catch the sob in my throat. It choked me as I fought it, my hands clenched into fists as I pushed back the tears. He wasn’t getting any more from me. He’d had plenty in the past.
I wished I could hate him. It would make it all so much easier if he’d just dumped me, if all that shit hadn’t happened to him and his family. I needed him to be the bad guy, all black and white, no shades of gray. It was the only way I could move on.
But unfortunately, that wasn’t reality, and Jake wasn’t the bad guy. Not completely. I turned on my side, curled into a ball. I was still making excuses for him when he had to have known how much it hurt me for him to say he loved someone else.
It was decided then. I needed to stop spending time with him.
The thought of not talking to him, laughing with him, clawed at my gut but I had to do something before I turned into one of those whiny girls I wanted to thrust a spine into.
The smell of Hub’s burgers, fried onions, and coffee was welcome and familiar. As was the same playlist of country music installed in the old-fashioned jukebox in the corner. No one cared that they’d had to listen to the same music for ten years—Hub’s was always so busy, conversation drowned out the crooners. I think the people of Lanton would’ve put up with cat’s nails dragged across blackboards just to get a taste of one of Hub’s burgers.
As for me, I’d put up with the fact that one of the waitresses had slept with my boyfriend. That’s how good Hub’s freaking burgers were.
I sat across from Jake in a small booth near the front entrance, chewing on a fry and watching him munch on his burger. He suddenly made a face and put it down, swallowing his food to complain, “I got pickle.”
“Give me,” I waved my fingers at him. “The taste of it will undoubtedly help me get over my disbelief that you don’t like it.”
Jake took the pickle off the burger and held it out to me. I smiled and leaned across the table and closed my lips around his fingers. His pupils dilated as I pulled back, chewing on the pickle. “Seriously? In public?”
I laughed and shrugged, picking up my own burger. “It’s not my fault you can’t control yourself.”
His expression pretty much said “you’ll pay for that later,” but I continued to eat happily, not too concerned about it. Jake’s payback was always yummy. “We definitely have an audience now,” he mumbled before taking a sip of his Coke.
I didn’t need to ask what he was referring to. Sitting behind us, closer to the bottom end of the diner, were some of our classmates and my so-called friends. Taking up two booths in the back was Alex, Brett, Damien, and a couple of their friends, as well as Lacey and Rose. Since Jake and I had walked into Hub’s, they’d been watching us. I heard their pointed laughter when I took a seat that wasn’t in Stacy’s section, and I felt their burning gaze on my neck the whole time we ordered food.
The fact that Lacey and Rose were with Brett and his idiots should’ve bothered me but honestly, I was done. The girls and I had grown distant since I started dating Jake. Yes, I spent time with him but even when I did spend time with the girls, all they did was bitch about the fact that I also spent time with Jake. Since I couldn’t cut myself in half, I didn’t really know what they wanted me to do about it.
And then Lacey started dating Brett.
Brett and his father hadn’t stopped their campaign of hate against the Caplins, so as soon as Lacey became his girl, he made it clear that I was to be treated as the enemy. She hadn’t spoken to me in three weeks.
I knew Jake was angry and also feeling inexplicably guilty. That pissed me off and as I chewed on my delicious burger, I grew annoyed that my senses were too distracted to enjoy it to the fullest. The muscle ticking in Jake’s jaw told me he was pissed.
“Whatever they’re doing behind my back, ignore them.”
“They’re just staring, trying to intimidate me.”
I frowned. “Not Alex, though, right?”
Jake shook his head. “As always, that douchebag looks uncomfortable.”
“He’s not a douchebag.”
“He’s best friends with a douchebag and as such is a douchebag by association.”
“Jake—”
“Don’t even,” he warned. “You know I don’t like that crowd. They’re bullies, baby.”
I agreed that Brett and some of the others were bullies, but Alex and his senior friends weren’t. Still, I didn’t want to argue about it with an audience.
His voice was hushed as he continued. “Now they’ve got your two best friends turning against you and why? Because of me.”
“Babe, as much as they want it to be, this is not the O.K. Corral. Ignore them.”
“And Lacey and Rose?”
“Ignore them too. From the moment Lacey turned fourteen, she’s been desperate to be popular. When Alex and I broke up, she was plotting to fix me up with every jock who walked by just so she could be a part of this high school fantasy she created in her head. She met you and thought you were it, Mr. Popular, and since you weren’t interested in her, she wanted you to meet me. She talked about it all summer when I called home. Unfortunately, you and I failed in that endeavor, so she’s hooking herself to another star. Do you really think I’m that upset over someone so disloyal?”
“What about Rose? I thought she was a nice girl,” Jake said, his eyes dim with disappointment. “I hate that me being with you has caused this.”
“It’s high school drama, Jake. Rose has always done whatever Lacey tells her to do. Even if she feels bad about it, she still does it. If it hadn’t been you shaking things up, it would’ve been something else. Lucky for me it was you, and just so you know, I’d choose you over them in a heartbeat every single time.”
The right side of his mouth quirked up in a little smile and he nodded, chewing on his fries.
I grinned. “You know, since you got here you’ve looked everywhere but at Stacy. Your aversion to Hub’s and your behavior right now is proof that you slept with her.”
Seeming stunned that I’d had the balls to bring it up, and so abruptly at that, Jake said, “You want to talk about this here? Now?”
“No. I just think you should know that I actually prefer knowing who you’ve slept with so I don’t feel like a total chump when I’m in the room with them.”
“And that’s it? You’re not … jealous?” He eyed me warily.
I shrugged. “I’ll always be jealous of any girl who’s had that part of you, but I’m not worried about it. If you wanted her, you’d be with her. But you’re not. You’re with me. A sound choice, I might add.” I smirked suggestively.
Jake threw his head back in laughter. “God, my girl is cocky.”
“Pot, meet Kettle.”
“Good thing we’re both attracted to cocky, then, huh?”