day molder of the Thai economy Anant na Ayudhaya on his

back, heels to Jesus, while a senior vice president of the

Commercial Bank of Siam, say, proceeds to make a strenuous

deposit in his excellency’s person, again I would guess no, he’s not gay. The connections between Griswold and the soothsayer

and the financier appear to be other than sexual or purely social.

The confluence of Khunathip, Anant, and a mentally uncertain

farang with thirty-eight mil in his pocket strongly suggests a

financial occasion. And a major one, at that. That is why, Mr.

Don, knowing what I know about money and power in

Thailand and the lengths people will travel in order to get and

keep money and power, I am truly shakin’ in my boots.” As he

climbed out of the car and headed for the breakfast buffet,

Pugh smiled tightly and added, “And how’s it shakin’ with you,

Mr. Don?”

After I cleaned up and Pugh had his bacon, we drove over

to Griswold’s condo and again threatened Mr. Thomsatai with a

telephone book. I wouldn’t actually have hit him, and I guessed

that neither would Pugh. Ek was stationed nearby, within sight

of Thomsatai, and with his Buick Roadmaster chest and

enormous upper arms adorned with inky images of hissing

serpents, Ek made an impression. So the condo manager was

forthcoming, bordering on chatty.

“Ah, Mr. Don, Khun Rufus. Have you been able to find Mr.

Gary? I am so worried about him.”

“We thought you might know where he is, actually,” I said.

“Or at least how to reach him by telephone. Or wasn’t it you

who tipped Griswold off that I was in Bangkok searching for

him? You’re the most likely candidate, what with hardly

anybody else even knowing I was in town.”

Thomsatai got on his might-have-a-stroke look and began to

gush sweat. It was unclear, though, whether this was because he

was about to tell a huge lie or because he thought we thought

130 Richard Stevenson

he knew something he didn’t actually know and somebody

might go after him again with a phone book.

He looked at us and said evenly, “The kidnappers offered

me ten thousand baht if I told them how to find Mr. Gary.”

Pugh said, “And you’ll tell us for eight? Khun Thomsatai,

keep this up and I may have to ask my assistant Ek to bring in

the telephone company.”

“No, no, that is not necessary. What I am saying is this: I

was unable to sell them this information because I do not have

it. I have no way of contacting Mr. Gary, and I have no idea

where he is. What I am telling you is too, too true, of course.”

I said, “How did the moto-bike man know that Timmy and

Kawee were up in Griswold’s apartment yesterday? That

apartment is nearly always empty except when Kawee waters

the plants and leaves offerings. But yesterday the kidnappers

knew exactly when to arrive with Timothy Callahan and Kawee

in the apartment but not Khun Rufus or me. Can you explain

how they knew that?”

Now he started eyeing the doorway again, but Ek was

standing in it. Thomsatai avoided looking at me, but he looked

at Pugh, suddenly shook his head violently, and cried out, “I am sorry!” He began to weep quietly. Snuffling, he said, “My

mother’s water buffalo died. I needed money to send to my

mother in Chiang Rai for a new buffalo. You understand this,

Khun Rufus. I know you do.” He snuffled some more.

Pugh gazed at him for a moment. Then he said to me,

“That’s a bar girl’s story. When she has spent the rent money on clothes or she feels like she needs a flat-screen television, a bar girl whose imagination is limited tells her john that her mother’s water buffalo has died and the poor old lady is going to starve

without one.”

I said, “Don’t water buffalos actually die? It does sound like

a serious matter in Thailand.”

Now Thomsatai looked eagerly at me for the first time,

apparently under the mistaken impression that I might rescue

him.

THE 38 MILLION DOLLAR SMILE 131

Pugh said, “Being a farang, you wouldn’t be expected to

know this. But Thai water buffalo are immortal. And when they

start breeding like maniacs after water buffalo rutting season,

soon we have way too many of them and they begin to crowd

us out of our villages. So we send the buffalo overflow to Laos.

In Luang Prabang, they are trained to perform dressage for the

tourists. Check out UNESCO’s Web site. People come from all

over the world for Luang Prabang’s famous water buffalo

dressage shows. It is plain, Mr. Don, that this man with his

water buffalo sob story is lying.”

Thomsatai got on a doomed look. He knew he was in the

hands of madmen, and what was he going to do, call the police?

He took a deep breath and said, “They phoned and asked me if

anybody was in Mr. Gary’s apartment. They said if I didn’t tell

them, they would drive a motorcycle over my face.”

We waited for more, but that was it. After a moment, Pugh

said, “Who phoned you?”

“The moto-bike man.” Thomsatai was trembling lightly

now.

“How did he know to phone you yesterday evening?”

“I don’t know. He did not tell me.”

“And you told him what?”

“That two men were in Mr. Gary’s apartment. Kawee and

Mr. Don’s friend.”

I said, “Why didn’t you tell this to the police when they

came here after the abduction?”

He looked at me stonily. “Because the man who called did

not want me to tell the police, I think. He would hurt me if I

told them.”

“How would the moto-bike man know it was you who told

the police what you had told them?”

Thomsatai looked over at Pugh as if to say, this farang is an

awfully naive fellow. Pugh caught Thomsatai’s meaning and

looked at me and shrugged.

Pugh said to me, “We’ll work this out ourselves. Mai pen rai. ”

132 Richard Stevenson

“What’s mai pen rai?”

“Literally, it means ‘It is not a problem.’ The larger meaning

in Thai thinking and culture is — if I may employ a

New Jerseyism you will readily comprehend —

whatthefuckyagonnadoaboutit. It’s what is is. Don’t sweat what

you cannot control. In this case, what is, is we cannot trust the police. Mr. Thomsatai doesn’t trust them, and neither should

we.”

“Even for seventy-five thousand bahts?”

“Oh, that’s another story. Clearly we have outbid the

opposition with that one. But that’s for the performance of one

particular service, a double sweep of fourteenth floors. Beyond

that, we’re not only on our own but moving into uncharted

territory, what with a certain personage — the gentleman in the

photo on the balcony — now very much in the picture. He also

is a man who undoubtedly goes around singing ‘The policeman

is my friend.’”

Thomsatai jumped when Pugh’s cell phone rang, and Pugh

glanced at the phone to see who was calling. He said to me,

“Speak of the devil.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The second sweep of fourteenth floors had been completed

and no trace of Timmy or Kawee had been found.

Pugh said, “Sorry, Mr. Don. It was worth a try. Truly.”

“Yeah, it seemed to make sense. I guess there are going to

be just too many holes in a dragnet of this amorphous type.”

“General Yodying is himself disappointed. He wants to take

you to dinner at the Oriental Hotel when you have the time.

Perhaps you view this as a mordant touch, bordering on the

macabre. But the general’s intentions are good.”

“I’ve never been to the Oriental. Timmy wants to go there.