My hand trembled just slightly as I squeezed Beth's shoulder. "And I've been on vegetable strike since the fourth grade."

"A rebel."

"Oh yes. Every time my mom put carrots in my lunchbox, I swapped them with the girl sitting next to me. Cheetos and carrots? Same color. It helped that she was legally blind in one eye, plus she had a crush on me. I'd send her to get milk. She'd come back, and the Cheetos would be gone, leaving her with carrots. I lied for two years, Beth, I'm not proud of what I did. But sometimes a man has to do things, ugly things, to get what he wants."

"You stole cheetos from a blind girl. How does that not make the news and me walking with you into a hotel does?"

"Easy." I grinned. "You're prettier."

Beth's face reddened. "So how about that cookie?"

"How about it?" I reached for her hand and didn't let go. We fell into easy talk of She-Ra and He-Man escapades and decided that Grandma had broken laws of national security to get the information that she had. The woman had done her homework.

"Closed?" Beth pointed at the sign to one of the snack shops lining the beach. "Why is it closed?"

Why was her voice rising? And then I remembered her reaction to cookies a few days ago. The yelling, the stomping, the throwing.

"Beth, calm down. We'll find you cookies." I patted her hand.

She turned, her angry cat-eyes flashing with irritation. Holy shit. Where was Donkey when I needed a quick escape?

"Beth! Jace! Over here!" Someone or something was waving at us.

I couldn't make out faces because of the way the sun was setting. But I didn't need to make out faces. It was too late anyway. A fist came flying into my face and everything went very, very black.

"Did you?" The agent sounded irritated.

"Did I what?"

"Break laws of national security for personal gain?"

Grandma seemed to think about the question. "Of course not."

The agent breathed a sigh of relief.

"It was for their gain. Not personal at all."

"Ma'am, that doesn't make it legal."

"I thought we've established I'm above the law, Gus? Sheesh, you're so forgetful, and I'm the senile one."

Beth

"Char? Jake?"

I was caught between wanting to make sure Jace was okay and also wanting to hug my sister and return the punch to Jake's face.

"Hey!" Char hugged me and then shoved Jake. "You ass, why'd you punch him?"

Jake cracked his knuckles. "He kissed you. Twice. Tried to steal you away. And was inappropriately touching your sister."

"Weren't you voted player of the year in Playboy?" Char asked. "Just curious."

"I'm a reformed man and happily married." Jake rolled his eyes. "Are you okay, Beth?"

"Since when is this one defending girls' honor?"

I ignored Jake's question and put my arm around Char.

"Marriage," Char rolled her eyes, "it's cured him. Disgusting, really. He won't even answer when I call him whore. Tragic, really."

"Heard that!" Jake snapped then poured some bottled water over Jace's face in an attempt to either drown him or wake him up.

"Why are you guys here?"

"Grandma kept hanging up on us." Char rolled her eyes. "And Rick's been trying to track down Jake and won't stop calling him. It seems our senator has it in his head that he isn't a public figure and doesn't need to keep his phone on."

"Sort of my fault." I meekly raised my hand. "But to be fair, neither of us have even touched technology in the past three days."

"We know." Char patted her on the shoulder. "Also, that Dr. Z needs to chill out. When we were trying to reach you, she kept saying that you were not to be disturbed, which frankly just freaked this one out." Char pointed to Jake, who was leaning on his hands and knees and now lightly tapping Jace's face.

"Wake up, bastard. Fight like a man."

"Fight like a man?" Jace grumbled, not opening his eyes. "Since when is getting sucker-punched fighting like a man?"

"I breathed hard enough. You should have sensed me."

"The man has a point, Thor," I agreed.

"Thor?" Char asked then looked at Jace. "Huh. How 'bout that?"

"She calls you Thor?" Jake gave a disgusted look.

"Wanna see my hammer?" Jace opened his eyes and made a fist.

"Funny," Jake said dryly. "The dirty senator makes jokes."

"Hilarious. The drunk billionaire comes to the rescue."

"Boys!" Char shouted. "Keep your balls on, okay? Damn, it's like the honeymoon from hell."

Jake got up from his position on the ground and wrapped Char in his arms. "I'm sorry, baby."

She sighed heavily against his chest. "It's okay. I blame Grandma."

"Economy failing?" Jake swore. "Blame Grandma."

"Can't sleep?" Char added in. "Blame Grandma."

"Please," Jace tried to get to his feet. "I highly doubt you guys have been worse off than us."

"They couldn't find our reservation at the hotel so we went to another hotel. They too were conveniently all filled up," Jake growled. "And then, wonder of all wonders, Grandma finds the perfect place for us to stay, all inclusive, nice little huts…"

"Huts?" I gulped.

"There's two of these places." Jake grimaced. "I hate damn couples' therapy. Some pictures can't be unseen, some words, unheard. I need a damn drink and a—"

"She drugged me with Viagra!" Jace blurted.

"Beth Lynn!" Char yelled.

"Not me!" I held up my hands in innocence. "Grandma did."

"But Grandma's been with us!" Jake said.

"No, she's been with us, here. She's our therapist."

"No…" Char squinted, "she's been our therapist."

"Holy shit." Jake pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to strangle her. I don't care what you say, Char. I'm doing it. I'm going to prison."

"Aw, baby, you know you're too pretty for prison." Char patted his back. "They'd eat you alive."

"Drinks?" I offered lamely. "You know, before you guys decide to bury your grandmother."

"Oh good!" A voice said from the dock. "You're all here, just as planned."

I turned slowly to face Grandma. The woman had no soul.

"Well." Jake cleared his throat, "may as well get on with it. Why are we all here, Grandma?"

"Yes," Another voice rang out. "Why in the hell are we all here?"

"Hi, Kacey!" Char waved.

Jake pulled her arm down and swore.

"All my kids." Grandma clapped and then did something that I'd never before seen in my life.

She burst into tears.

"Does your meddling know no end?"

Grandma squinted. "No, of course not? They need me. And by the time the story's finished, I guarantee you'll agree. Grandma's ways are best."

"I highly doubt your grandsons agree."

"I beg to differ. My grandsons love me."