“What’s that?” He pointed to the offending animal and prayed he was hallucinating. The thing was way too small and annoying to be a guard dog.

“He’s my protector.” Grandma reached down for the puppy. “Aren’t you Charles Barkley? Aren’t you?”

“You named him after a basketball player? I didn’t even know you watched basketball.”

Grandma shrugged. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. And I find that man… fascinating. He’s so large and commanding, if you get my meaning.”

Jake purposefully chose not to get her meaning lest he have nightmares for the rest of his existence. “Grandma, please don’t ever say that out loud again.”

“What?” She shrugged. “It’s the truth. Besides, I figured my rape whistle wasn’t enough to protect me from intruders. But little Charles does such a great job. Well, I sleep like the dead!”

“You live with mom and dad.” Jake pointed out.

“On the first floor.” Grandma sounded exasperated. “By the time I grab my whistle they’ll already be in the bedroom! And once they’re in the bedroom, it’s lights out for Grandma.” Yeah, Jake wasn’t so sure Grandma would take anything lying down, the intruder would probably be the one leaving traumatized.

Char watched the exchange with amusement. “So, Grandma, is that who the shock collar’s for?”

“Ah.” Jake nodded. “Now it makes sense.”

“What does?” Grandma set the dog in her chair.

“The shock collar. It’s for Charles?”

“No.” Grandma petted the dog. “That’s a good boy, that’s a good boy! Charles…” she turned to Jake. “Is trained.”

The dog barked again.

“He’s the perfect dog, listens to my every word.”

The barking continued.

“Why he even knows French!”

The dog barked in agreement.

“How do you figure?” Jake glared at the dog as it bared its teeth at him.

Grandma flicked her hand in the air. “He was born in France, oui, oui!”

The dog actually stopped barking and sat.

“The shock collar was to scare Travis shitless.”

“Thanks, Grandma!” Travis called from one of the bedrooms.

“I love you, Trav!” Grandma yelled back breaking the sound barrier with her voice.

“Right.” Jake backed up slowly. “Well, Char and I are just going to go eat something. We’ll be back, how do we, uh, get past the guard dog?”

“Jake.” Grandma shook her head. “I’m disappointed, you of all people should know how to get past a dog. After all, you used to be one.”

“Point, Grandma,” Char said behind him.

At Grandma’s chuckle his eyes narrowed. “How do we get past the damn dog?”

“Think of it as another game.” Grandma waved him off. “Enjoy your snack!” 

“She has too much time on her hands,” Jake said as they entered the kitchen. Char didn’t need wine; she was still buzzing about their few hours in bed. But food, food she needed.

“It’s not her fault that her hobby just so happens to be her grandsons.” Char located the glasses and brought them to the island in the middle of the large gourmet kitchen.

Jake grabbed a bottle of red wine and poured them both a glass. “Hey.” He bit his lip. “How about we take this up to the tree house? I want to show you something.”

“Ah, such a player. I bet you said that to all the girls in junior high.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Just grab your glass. Come on.”

She followed him out into the cool night, absolutely giddy. It was ridiculous really, but her entire outlook on life felt changed. Maybe it was because she was finally with the one man she’d always wanted.

Married to be exact.

Not just dating.

So they did it backward? Fine by her.

“Come on.” Jake grabbed her glass and set it on the floor of the tree house as he helped her climb up.

Once they were in the small room, Jake lit a candle and blew out the match. “You ready for our surprise?”

“That depends.” Char took a sip of wine. “Are you going to tell me a ghost story or are you really planning on surprising me?”

“Yes or no?” He leaned forward and kissed her hard on the mouth.

“Yes.” Treacherous body.

“Close your eyes.”

She pouted.

“Close them.”

“Fine.” She closed her eyes and heard some shuffling around and then the sound of some sort of wrapper or plastic.

“Open your mouth.”

“I’m not sure I want to,” she said.

“Trust me,” he whispered.

And because he had said he loved her, and she finally trusted him, she did. She opened her mouth.

The first thing she tasted was a sweet cream. Her eyes fluttered open. “A Twinkie!” Laughing, she grabbed it out of his hands. “Why the hell do you have Twinkies up here?”

It looked like Jake blushed. He bit his lip and sat down next to her. “And now for your story…”

She leaned her head on his shoulder.

“There was once a boy who met a girl. He offended her by staring so she punched him in the face.” Char laughed as he continued. “Then one day, she gave him a Twinkie. Apparently in elementary school food is considered a peace offering. The boy didn’t have the heart to tell the really pretty girl that he didn’t like Twinkies, so he saved them. Every time she gave him one, he ran home and hid it in his tree house.”

Char’s eyes filled up with tears. “Like a squirrel?”

“Like a damn squirrel.” Jake laughed. “Until one day, no more Twinkies. You see, sometimes little boys grow up to be complete and total idiots. They think that because they grow a hair on their chin, or discover a muscle in their arms, that suddenly, they don’t need girls with Twinkies anymore. They think that they should have lots of girls, not just one. So they mess up. I…” He turned to her and swallowed. “I messed up so many times with you. I had the biggest crush on you when we were in junior high and then all of a sudden it was as if neither of us tried anymore. It was the first time I walked away from you, my first mistake…”

Char blinked back tears. “And your second mistake?”

“Leaving you again, the night I selfishly used you in order to feel better about myself.” He sighed. “And the third and final mistake in my tragic story…”

“What?”

“Not kissing you the first time I saw you again, and not apologizing for leaving you… for abandoning you when I think, deep down in my heart, I knew it had always been you, Char.”

She wiped away some of the tears as they streamed down her face.

“But what about Kacey? I mean you and her were—”

“It was never like this.” Jake shook his head. “Never.” His eyes turned serious as he tilted her chin toward his lips. “This is indescribable.”

“Oh.”

“Wow? After all of that, you say ‘oh’?”

Char grinned and leaned her head on his shoulder again. “Yeah, well, I’m a little tired after Charades.”

“Pity.” Jake snorted. “I had a few more games up my sleeve.”

“Sure you did, Tiger.”

Noise clattered from below the tree house. Motioning for her to be quiet, Jake looked over the edge and saw Grandma making her way across the lawn to the neighbor’s house.

“What’s she doing?” Char whispered.

“Looks like she’s going for a midnight… play date?” He offered.

“With?”

“Neighbor, crazy old man who only wears Hawaiian shirts and actually pinches Grandma’s ass during family dinner. He loves her. He’s obsessed. He plans his schedule around her morning walk routines.”

“Wow, dedicated.”

“Clearly she’s doing something right.”

Char laughed. “She is a Titus.”

“Well said.” Licking his lips, Jake pulled her in for another kiss. “I didn’t kiss her, you know. I didn’t want to. I never wanted to.”

“Who?”

“Amy.”

“Oh, her.” Char snorted. “Junior high nemesis and all around mean girl. I know, let it go. I swear I had until I saw her acrylic talons piercing your chest.”

“They hurt.” Jake laughed. “Like hell. And not a good hurt. A hurt that makes a man want to walk away slowly so he doesn’t get eaten.”