“Does he know?”  Regina’s usually direct and sarcastic voice is gentle and apprehensive.  She knows what bringing up the past can do to me, so she steadies for my response.

“No.”

Regina looks at me concerned.  “Don’t you think he’ll understand...with what happened to him?”

I do.  I really do think he’ll understand for some reason.  But I’m just not ready to say the words out loud yet.  “Don’t start, Regina.  It’s new and I’m not avoiding it, it just hasn’t come up.”

“It will never come up, unless you bring it up. How many years did you spend with William and it never came up?”

I sigh heavily, I know she’s right, but I’m not ready for Nico to look at me differently.  He’ll see someone different once he knows.  Or worse, he’ll look at me with pity.  The way he looks at me makes my heart skip a beat, something I’m only just learning to enjoy.  Too many years of my life went by with me flatlining, trying to evade all emotions. It’s the first time I want to feel in a long time.  Feel the highs and the lows and all that’s in between.

“I’m just not ready yet.”

Regina knows what I’ve been through, so she doesn’t push.  But I know this isn’t the last that I’ll hear about it from her.

Nico

“The chick the other night had some rack, hey Lady Killer?”  Frank Lawson is a complete asshole. Always has been.  I didn’t even notice he was in the gym the other night when Elle and I walked through.

“She’s not some chick and keep your eyes off her when she’s in here, or you’ll be finding a new place to train.”  The whole room goes quiet.  “After I kick your ass.”

Frank throws his hands up in exaggerated surrender and I hear a few of the guys quietly laugh in the background.

“Hey Frank, Nico can use a sparring partner, whatta you say?”  Preach chimes in.  Gotta love Preach always looking out for me.  He just gave me an excuse to knock that asshole on his ass and call it practice.

My stare is icy when Frank looks at me.  He knows I’m pissed.  But the whole place is still quiet and now he’ll look like a pussy if he says no.  “Umm…sure.”

Preach winks at me as I turn to finish my warm up.  On a bad day I can take Frank with one hand tied behind my back.  Today I won’t need either.

A few hours later, Preach and I lock up and I make us both a protein shake.  I need to replenish the calories, Preach is working on a little gut.

“Put some extra peanut butter in mine.”

I slap Preach in the gut.  “You don’t need any extra peanut butter, old man.”

“You better hope you look as good as I do when you’re my age.”  He sucks in his gut and throws back his shoulders as he speaks.

“I’ll worry about it in seventy or eighty years when I’m almost your age.”  I answer back to Preach with sarcasm.  This is who we are.  We bust chops, fight, argue, and get pissed off at each other.  But he’s like a father to me, the old bastard.

“Yeah, well, with the quantity of food you inhale, I’m thinking you might not make it to my ripe old age.  Your new lady cook good?”

I laugh.  “Ah, that would be a no.  I made her eggs the other morning and she thought it was magic that I made them taste so good.  All I put in was salt and pepper.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing she looks like that if she can’t cook.”  Preach goads me.

“Watch it old man, or I’ll knock you on your ass, too.”  I hand him his shake, with a double scoop of peanut butter.

Elle

Friday night Regina and I go out for drinks after work.  Our regular place is packed for happy hour, but we eventually manage to get two seats at the bar.  I have two glasses of wine, while Regina has at least twice that.  Nico is meeting me at the bar at eight and taking me to dinner and I don’t want to be too tipsy.  Anything over two inside of two or three hours is too much for me.

My back is to the crowded bar, I’m surprised when I hear a familiar voice I don’t expect to hear.  William.  It’s not that I don’t want to see him, but the place we’re at just isn’t on William’s revolving list of regular restaurants. I’m pretty sure Zagat’s never stepped foot inside here.

“Hey, Elle.”  William greets me in the same manner he normally would in a public place.  He kisses me on the cheek and gives me a slight brush of his hand on my hip. “Hey Regina.” He gives her a smile, but no kiss on the cheek.

William introduces the man he’s with as one of the new associates at his firm.  He’s older for an associate, but nice looking, a little on the shorter side.  I’m surprised at the lack of awkwardness in our conversation. Oddly, it feels like nothing has changed.  After a few minutes, we slip into easy conversation about one of the cases we had been discussing over the last year and Regina and the new guy seem to have found something they both find hysterical.

I have no idea how long we talk for, but it’s nice, and I begin to think maybe William and I really can be friends.  Maybe it’s what we always were.   I lose track of time, and let myself enjoy the familiarity of my conversation.

William’s back is to Nico as he approaches the bar, but I catch sight of him the minute he walks through the door.  My body responds to him instantly, my pulse increasing and my breaths coming shorter and faster.  My eyes follow his every step and our eyes lock the minute he spots me.  The crowded room falls away as he walks to me and I shift in my seat feeling tingly all over at the intensity in his gaze.  God the man makes me feel so alive.

He’s a few steps away when his eyes finally leave mine and catches the face of the man I’m talking to.  Something in his face changes, his eyes are darker, wilder, when his eyes come back to me only a second or two later.  William notices my distraction and traces my line of sight, turning as Nico reaches us.

Effortlessly, William makes the change from friend to businessman and greets Nico in the way I’ve watched him schmooze a hundred clients before.  Nico nods his head curtly and I hear him say, “William,” but he doesn’t turn to acknowledge him and his eyes never release mine.  The awkwardness that was missing with William, suddenly hangs thick in the air.  Nico’s face gives nothing away, but I can feel the tension emanating from his body.

His eyes squint ever so slightly as he studies me, looking for an answer to some unasked question.  I’m still as Nico extends his arm toward me, his big hand gently hooking around my neck and pulling me slightly toward him as his head comes down to meet mine.  His mouth covers mine and he plants a quick, dry kiss on my lips.  His head pulls back slightly and he nods and speaks before he releases me.  “Babe.”

The look in his eyes is something I’m not used to, but there’s no mistaking it’s there.  Jealousy, possessiveness.  He’s just marked his territory with one small move.  The hint of a smile I see threatening in the corner of his mouth tells me he knew exactly what he was doing.  The independent woman inside of me tells me I should be pissed, finding his territorial action appalling, but my body refuses to listen.  Instead, I’m aroused, finding his possessive gesture incredibly sexy and exciting.

Regina breaks me out of my daze with her words and I find the three people we are with staring at me.   I forgot there was anyone else in the room.  “Do I get a greeting like that too?”  Her sarcastic comment seems to break the awkward silence, and Nico responds sweetly by giving her a kiss on the cheek and treating her to his sexy grin.  “Hey, Regina.”  She giggles like a schoolgirl at his touch.  My friend definitely has a new crush.

William looks confused, almost shell shocked for a minute.  His reaction surprises me, not that he reacts, but that he allows me to see it on his face.  I’ve watched him bluff in negotiations and cover his surprise to testimony on the witness stand, without ever a hint of reveal on the outside.  He’s a master at maintaining a poker face, but I think Nico’s kiss must have caught him very off guard.