I go to stand up but he grabs at the top of both my arms and it hurts. We are both kneeling, facing each other, in the middle of his sofa. “I need to get you home because I don’t want to be up on a rape charge.”

I shrink back at his words, rape charges and every horrible memory those words conjure are forced to the front of my mind.

“Let me go,” I say through gritted teeth.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Georgia?” he shouts at me. “You’re sitting there all fuckin’ sexy in my t-shirt.” He scratches at his head. “I don’t know where I fuckin am with ya, I’m a thirty year old bloke, I don’t play games Darlin’, if you want someone to mess with, then fuck off back to the dickless wonder you swanned in the bar with last week and stay the fuck away from me.”

I twist away from him while he has one hand still in his hair but he grabs at me again, pinning both my arms to my sides.

“Let me fuckin go Cam, let me go!” I screech at him as I throw myself about trying to get away from him.

“What dya want, what do you fuckin want from me?” He pulls me to him and looks down into my face.

He looks so angry, nobody has ever grabbed me, pulled me about like that or shouted at me in my life; I was a princess, I was spoilt and pampered, I had grown up getting basically, anything and everything I wanted in life, except for Sean that is and the only way I knew how to react to being shouted at in this way was to spit and snarl my way out of it. I tried to head butt him first, he reared back and looked at me, eyes wide with shock at my actions. “What the fuck are you doing?”

His voice was all high pitched and incredulous and as I realised he was trying not to laugh at my futile attempts to escape his grip and to inflict pain on him, the more determined I became. I threw myself backwards and he couldn’t help but fall on top of me, I bring my knee up and knee him in the balls, I’m thrashing from side to side and screaming at him, I must make contact as he doubles up and rolls onto his side, giving me room to roll out from underneath him, I start to head toward the door but he’s too fast and grabs me again.

“Stop.” He shakes me by my shoulders. “Fuckin’ stop, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I slap him around the face and almost faint in shock when he slaps me back, it’s not hard, it’s barely a tap, but I’ve never been slapped in my life.

“Is that what you want?’ he asks. “Is that what you like? Is that what you’re into?”

He pushes me slightly in the chest and I take a step back. “Give me something, give me something for fuck’s sake Kitten, you totally baffle me, we were having a lovely night, one of the best nights in a woman’s company I’ve had in years and then, then you just flip. Who did it? Who fuckin’ broke you? I have to know who broke you before I can start putting you back together again so who, who was it?” he’s shouting and getting in my face and every step I take back, he takes one forward.

“Fuckin’ tell me.” he suddenly roars and I don’t know why, despite his size, his strength and his absolute maleness, I’m not in the least bit afraid of him, all I feel right now is anger, anger and sadness at the fact that the boy I love so much is still fucking up my life so badly.

“Sean!” I scream back at him. “Sean,” I sob as I drop down to my knees. “It’s Sean, it’s all Sean.”

I sob harder, big heaving, out of control sobs; he’s on the floor with me and pulls me into his lap. “Thank fuck.” he says into my hair, he kisses me, my head, my hair, my cheeks, my tears.

“Let it out Kitten, let it all out, it’s not good to keep it all in like that, believe me, I know, just let it out.” And I do, I thought I had cried all the tears I had in me at my Mum’s all week, but apparently not, this is different, I cried alone at my Mum’s, here, I was crying with someone and admitting to that someone, who my tears were for, I was facing up to my demons and not just brushing them aside.

“I love him Cam, I love him so much, and it hurts so bad, I just don’t know if I can live the rest of my life like this.”

He kisses my hair some more. “I know, I know but we’ll make it better, I promise, we’ll make it better.”

He stands without putting me down and carries me to his bed. He lays me down and starts to unbutton my jeans. “Cam,” I say on a whimper. “I’m a mess, I don’t want sex.”

“Shush, shush baby, I’m not gonna touch ya, I promise, I just want ya to be more comfortable… okay?” I nod, too exhausted now to speak; he pulls my jeans off, then takes off his own clothes and slides in beside me in just his boxers. He pulls me tight into his chest and we spoon, my brain doesn’t get the chance to even form any more thoughts before I am drifting off to sleep.

CHAPTER 14

Exactly like I did with Marley the night before, I slept soundly in Cam’s arms. I woke on Friday morning to the smell of coffee and opened my eyes to the delicious sight of Cam walking through the bedroom door wearing nothing but a pair of light blue boxers, he looked at me warily and I felt guilty and ashamed of my latest meltdown in front of him last night. He put the coffees down on the bedside table without saying a word, I sat myself up, taking in the sight of his bare arms, chest, abs, legs, every naked bit of him and I’ve got to say, there wasn’t a single bit of him that I didn’t like, he was just an absolute, perfect specimen of maleness.

He lent forward and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Good morning Kitten, please don’t lick your lips like that, otherwise I swear to God I will not be responsible for my actions.”

I blushed and smiled at him, I was actually amazed he was being so polite and hadn’t kicked me out on my arse considering my performance the night before. “Thank you for my coffee.”

He shrugged. “You’re welcome; I didn’t know how you took it.” He smirked at the double entendre then carried on. “So I made it the same way as mine, strong, dash of milk, a little sugar.”

“Perfect,” I replied.

“Gee thanks, you’re not so bad yourself Kitten.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh and wonder what it was exactly that my family thought was so scary about this man.

“So, I best make the walk of shame and get home.”

He threw his head back and I knew then I was going to be treated to his big booming laugh and he didn’t disappoint, when his eyes met mine he said, “Fuck Kitten, if we had been doing anything shameful here, you wouldn’t be capable of walking anywhere, I’d make sure of that.”

“Oh you are so sure of yourself.”

He shrugged his big shoulders, making my eyes flick from his face, down to his chest and back again. “What can I say, I’ve never had any complaints and they always come back begging for more from the Love King.”

For a split second jealousy flashes through me but I kick it’s arse till it leaves my head and say to him. “‘The Love King’, you seriously just called yourself ‘The Love King’? That’s almost as creepy as fancying twelve year old boys.”

He shakes his head. “Fuck, you’re never gonna let me forget that one are you?”

I smile and shake my head. “Hmmm, I’ll keep quiet, as long as you’re nice to me.”

He looks at me without saying a word for a few seconds, he reaches up and brushes his fingers gently over my left cheek, then leans in and kisses me very gently on the lips. I close my eyes and keep them closed even after he’s taken his mouth from mine. “I want to be more than nice to you Kitten, but we’ll get there.”

I open my eyes slowly as he speaks. “Are you going to work today?” he asks

“No, my Mum’s banned me from work till at least Monday, I was gonna get some washing done today.”

“Wow, life on the edge, dya fancy living dangerously and coming out for lunch with me? I want to have a drive out to a pub in Horndon, they get great reviews for their food and I want to see what all the fuss is about.”