“G... What… Are we doing this?” I nod my head, we’ve talked and talked about this, we’ve been there with our hands and I know that I’m ready, I know that there’ll never be any one for me but Sean and I just want to get this first time over with. He’s not a virgin, he was shagging girls those first couple of years we were pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Well he was pretending, I thought it was real, it hurt when he confessed but he swears he hasn’t touched another girl since we spoke to my parents in Portugal and I believe him. He pulls his T-shirt off over his head and I look down over his body; he and Marley have set up a home gym in the summer house and they have been working out almost daily since my Dad bought it for them as a joint Christmas present last year. He looks so much broader than he did last summer and has a line of hairs running down the middle of his chest, a few around his nipples, then all the way down to beneath the waistline of his jeans. He stands up in front of me, undoes his jeans and pulls them off with his boxers and socks, I pull down my knickers and step out of them and once again he looks me up and down.

“You’re beautiful G, so beautiful. Are you sure you’re safe?” I nod my head. Six months ago, Jimmie’s older sister had told us that if we went to the family planning clinic and complained about heavy periods they would put us on the pill, they did and I had been taking it regularly now for the last three months.

“Yes… Are you sure? You’ve never done it… without a condom I mean?” We had been learning about this new disease in our social education classes at school, it was called AIDS and somehow people were catching it from sex, I was fourteen, I didn’t want to die from a sex disease. My brothers would kill me.

We laid down on the bed, side by side, he kissed me from my ankles to the top of my head and out to my fingertips, he reassured me constantly, asked if I was okay continuously and worshiped me endlessly, then after using his fingers on me for a few minutes, Sean climbed on top. All the while continuing to ask if I was sure and assuring me he’d be gentle.

“I love you Georgia Rae Layton… I love you so much… I’m gonna push inside you now… I’ll go very slowly but it might hurt a bit… If it’s too much… If it hurts too much G, tell me and I’ll stop. Okay?”

I nod, I’m shaking from head to toe, adrenalin pumping through my veins, my heart, my body, which is naked and pressed as close as two people can be, against his. He uses his hand to line himself up and then laces our fingers together at the side of our heads and looks deep into my eyes as he slowly nudges his way inside me, there’s no pain at first. I don’t feel anything, other than fear, embarrassment and desire. Then it stings, I wince and he stops.

“You okay babe?” I nod and let out a breath. “Just a little bit more and I’ll be in.”

“You’re not in yet?”

He laughs.

“No G… I’m nowhere near in yet. Are you ready?”

“Yes Sean, will you just shag me please.”

He laughs and shakes his head and kisses my mouth, then looks into my eyes as he slides in… And oh fuck… In… Ow… And in!

“I’m… Fuck G that feels so nice… I’m in, is it okay if I move?”

I bite down on my bottom lip as he starts to move, and oh does he move, it’s not amazing sex, it’s not really long, drawn out sex but it is sweet, beautiful lovemaking between two kids, that are absolutely one hundred per cent sure that they’ll love each other for the rest of their lives. Half an hour later, we consider ourselves experts and have another go, this time we’re entirely different with each other. By the time we go for round three, I’m brave enough to climb on top and experience my fourth orgasm of the day and all I can think to myself is why did I wait so long?

CHAPTER 4

“I think we shall have a boy first, or maybe two, then we’ll have a girl.”

“Three kids? I only want two.”

Sean turns his head and looks up at me with brown eyes, I continue combing my fingers through is dark brown hair, he’s wearing it a bit shorter than he used to but there’s still enough for me to grab a handful.

“But I want a little girl and she’s going to be beautiful like you so she’ll need at least two big brothers to protect her from boys like me.”

I stroke my hand over his whiskers as I smile down at him; we are totally naked, lying in Sean’s bed, his Mum and Stepdad are away on holiday so we’ve been spending all of our time here instead of at my house. It’s a whole year since we first started having sex and we are so comfortable with each other that we have no issues with wandering around with no clothes on in front of each.

Tonight is extra special, I have lied to my parents, they think I am staying at Jimmie’s but instead, I’m here with Sean and we’re finally going to spend an entire night together. It’s cold outside and we’ve been in bed for most of the afternoon, making love, smoking weed and playing music. I’m now sitting with my back against the headboard of Sean’s bed, while he lies with his head in my naked lap, I’m fifteen years old, he’s seventeen and there’s nothing we don’t know about love and life, we have it all worked out.

Sean is working part time for my Dad while he completes his ‘A’ levels. The band are doing great and have bookings most weekends, they performed at a couple of festivals last summer and are re-booked for the coming summer, they saved enough money to go into a studio and produce a demo tape. Lennon and my Dad have been sending it out to different music companies the past few weeks and they received a call yesterday from one of the biggest companies around, they have a meeting set up for the following Thursday, this really could be it, the big time for Carnage! Well, bigger than playing pubs and birthday parties.

Sean and I have decided that as soon as I’m done with school, we shall get married, that way my parents won’t mind when I go on tour with the band, because once they make it big, which they will, a tour will be on the cards and Sean and I don’t want to be apart, ever. Once the band have recorded their first album and completed the tour, we should have enough money to put a deposit on a house, then we can start thinking about babies. We’ve even picked their names, we will have a boy named Beau and a girl named Lilly but now Sean’s throwing another boy in the mix, we’ll have to think of another boy’s name.

“I have three big brothers, it didn’t protect me from you, besides, if we have a little girl that grows up and meets a boy like you, then she’ll be very lucky.”

“I don’t want a boy like me sniffing around my thirteen year old daughter G, I will kill him, I swear, I will kill him.”

I laugh at the way he’s getting so angry at a hypothetical situation and I’m squirming inside at the thought of him being an overprotective Dad to our daughter; I smile down at him some more.

“I will make sure she’s clued up and knows how to handle a boy like you, if one should come along, besides, if they love each other like we do, does it matter?”

“No, I suppose not but if he puts his hands on her. Let’s just not talk about it G, it pisses me off, I don’t know how your brothers haven’t killed me yet, especially Lennon.”

Lennon and Jimmie were still going strong but it was still a secret from both sets of parents, we had told so many lies over the last year so that we could spend alone time with our boyfriends that it would take someone from the Krypton Factor to work out the truth from the lies. My tummy grumbles loudly and Sean bursts into laughter as his ear is on my belly and he must have heard it.

“Let’s eat; we need to get ready for the gig soon.”

The boys were playing at the local pub tonight; it was their regular gig if they didn’t get another booking. This was the weekend before Valentine’s Day, and had been booked in as a ticket only night and had been sold out for a couple of weeks. We eat a bowl of sugar puffs each; take a shower, which leads to our first ever shower sex experience before getting dressed and jumping into Sean’s new Ford Escort XR3I that my Dad had got hold of for a really good price when he passed his test a couple of months back. I love it and feel like a princess when we drive about in it. The pub is only a ten minute drive but we arrive late and Lennon’s not happy, Marley even less so but then that’s nothing new, everything seems to piss Marley off these days, I never realised how much he liked Jimmie and he’s had a hard time dealing with her and Lennon being together, we used to be so close but he’s so moody and withdrawn lately that we hardly ever speak.