We book a week away in the Dominican Republic, enjoying ourselves, chilling out and reconnecting so much, that we stay another week and move straight into our new home as soon as we arrive back in England and settle into our new lives in the Essex countryside.

Sean is home a lot; the album is finished and will be released at the end of April. The boys have decided they don’t need to do a massive world tour to promote it; they are big enough now that it’s not necessary. In fact pre-orders have already guaranteed it will go platinum in the first week. Interviews and TV appearances will have to be carried out though and the boys will partake in a whirlwind tour of the UK, America and Europe during the last week of April and the first two weeks of May. As much as I will miss Sean, I won’t be going to Europe or America with him, it’s too soon, too painful and we’ll only attract press attention. The press have been pretty good since news of our loss broke, we have received untold amounts of letters, cards and good wishes from around the world and I spend a lot of time reading through them while Sean is away. Many of the letters are from women who have gone through an ectopic pregnancy and have gone on to have more children with no problems at all. I reply to all of these messages, thanking the women for taking their time to reassure me that all will be fine for us in the future. I have no doubt about this anyway, no doubt at all.

CHAPTER 25

Sean’s flight lands at noon on Sunday May the 14th and I go with Milo to the airport to collect him, I’m so excited that I wait out on the tarmac as the plane lands and I’m bouncing on my toes as I wait for the doors to open, he doesn’t know I’m coming and I can’t wait to see his face. It’s a warm sunny day and Len blinks a few times as he steps out of the doors, he looks at me and frowns but I hold my finger to my lips telling him to shush, he nods and carries on walking down the steps of the plane. I hide behind Milo in case any of the other boys say anything and spoil the surprise, I just want Sean to know how much I love him, he loves small gestures and I know he’s hated leaving me. He’s been so unbelievably attentive since we lost Baby M, as we now call our ‘not meant to be’ baby; he’s looked after me so well and I just hope that as soon as we get home, I’m going to be able to give him some good news.

He appears at the top of the steps and my heart skips a beat and then trebles its speed, I wonder if it will always do that around him? I step out from behind Milo and he sees me instantly, I start to move toward him and almost stumble as his face lights up, he runs down the aircraft stairs, not caring who he pushes out of the way, namely Marley, who’s seen me and thinks he’s funny by deliberately getting in Sean’s way. In the end, he jumps over the side of the airplane steps and runs toward me. He slows down as he gets near me and swings me around.

He has the biggest smile as he says, “I’ve missed ya Georgia Rae, show us your tits.”

I pull up my t-shirt and flash him my red lace bra. “Fuck babe, I’ve missed ya, let’s get a room somewhere.” I laugh and shake my head.

“No, I wanna get home.”

He reaches for my hand and starts pulling me toward the car. “Well let’s go then.”

We chat about his trip as Milo drives us home and because it’s Sunday and the traffic is light we are home within the hour and head straight for our bedroom as soon we are through the front door. I have a pregnancy test stick waiting and ready to be used, in fact I have two and Sean looks totally confused as I pull him into the bathroom. “Georgia… Nooo, fuck first, shower later, I need to be inside you,” he whines.

“Sit down.” I gesture to the edge of the bath, I’m busting for a wee and need to do this soon before I wet myself. I hold the plastic stick in front of his face and his eyes widen, he doesn’t say a word while I wee on it, wipe and wash my hands, then sit on the edge of the bath next to him as we wait and stare at the little piece of plastic that might possibly be about to change our lives.

Two lines appear.

Pregnant.

Sean looks from the stick to me and back to the stick again.

“G,” he whispers.

“I knew, I mean, I didn’t know, I guessed before you went away but I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Pregnant, you’re really pregnant?”

“Yes, I’m really pregnant.”

“We need to see a doctor.”

“We are and I’ve made an appointment for tomorrow at eleven.”

“Who with?” I look at him and chuckle.

“Does it matter, if I was to tell you his name, would it make any difference?”

“Yes, I only want you to see Richard Curtis.” What. The. Fuck?

“How do you know who Richard Curtis is?” He looks exactly like the thirteen year old boy I fell in love with when he smiles at me.

“Because I did some research and he’s the best around and I want you and the baby to see the best.” I’m actually amazed, Richard Curtis is exactly who I have an appointment to see tomorrow.

“But I only just told you I was pregnant.”

“Yeah… but I knew you would be pregnant again sometime and I wanted to make sure that you and the baby were all set to be looked after by the best.” His eyebrows are pulled in together; he’s worried that he’s said something wrong.

“Baby, it’s fine, you don’t need to explain, I’m, I’m just…” I start crying, I really am the luckiest woman in existence. “I couldn’t love you any more than I do right now.”

He looks over my face and reaches out and strokes his thumb over my cheek and across my lips, he raises his eyebrows and smiles as he whispers, “We’re having a baby Mrs McCarthy.”

I grin stupidly, because I just can’t help myself. “We are Mr McCarthy.”

“Let’s fuck.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

By midday Monday, my pregnancy had been confirmed and I was laying on my back waiting for an ultrasound to be carried out. I feel sick with nerves. Sean and I have not discussed the possibility of anything being wrong, it couldn’t happen again, surely? I have just missed my second period and from all the research I have done, I should be feeling the effects if this is another ectopic pregnancy, but I feel well, really well in fact; thinking back now, I didn’t feel right from the very beginning with Baby M but this time, apart from feeling a little sick in the mornings, I feel great.

I notice that the ultrasound machine they have wheeled in is the trans-vaginal kind, the same as they used on me when I was in the hospital before.

“Is this one of them ones they put inside ya?” Sean asks as he sits in a chair next to the bed holding my hand. I nod.

“You okay with that?” he asks while I shrug my shoulders.

“It’s what needs to be done, are you okay with it?” He shakes his head.

“Not really, I hate the thought of another bloke, knowing what you’ve got going on down there.” I can’t help but smile, Sean McCarthy, Rock God, lead singer of Carnage, his face and body have graced the covers of so many magazines, often with near naked women draped around him and he doesn’t like the idea of a doctor examining his pregnant Wife.

“It’s his job Sean, all in a day’s work, my Mildred is just like any other woman’s as far as he’s concerned.” Now Sean smiles.

“No way G, your Mildred is fucking special, it’s small and neat and tight and perfect and it’s fucking mine and he better remember that.” I shake my head and sigh.

“Sean, the man’s in his fifties, he’s not interested in my Mildred and stop saying sexy things, or I’ll get all turned on.”

“You better fucking not.”

The door opens and Professor Curtis walks in, with his curly grey hair and bright yellow bow tie, any desire I might have been feeling evaporates and the nerves kick back in. I have a sheet over me from the waist down and thankfully nothing on show. We both watch at first, as the doctor slides a condom on the wand and then noisily squirts lube over it. I suddenly want to giggle and my eyes swing across to Sean’s as he makes a small sound, his lips are pursed together as he tries to contain a laugh, I narrow my eyes on him.