“Well that’s when alarm bells should have started ringing for me and I don’t know why they didn’t. Do you remember when there was that big article in one of the magazines about your wedding last year and they asked you about George being bridesmaid and if it was going to be awkward with Sean being there?” I watch Jimmie as she nods, I had no idea Jimmies future wedding had made the news, bloody hell, were the band that famous?

“Well a few days after that, this Mandy, the girl that had said she was Sean’s secret girlfriend, she called the house and said that Georgia had found out where the boys lived and had caused all sorts of trouble trying to get up to the loft and that she had convinced security not to call the Police. She said that George was obviously in need of psychiatric care and that she needed to be kept away from Sean at all costs, otherwise she would have no choice but to tell him and that she would make sure that he would press charges.”

“I swear to God, this has nothing to do with me,” Sean protests from beside me. My Mum scratches at her head, it’s a most unlikely action from her, she’s always so composed and perfect, doesn’t fidget, doesn’t scratch, doesn’t yawn, a perfect lady.

“George, you were out clubbing all the time, you had lost so much weight and your behaviour was a little bit erratic, I just thought that you were slipping again, I wondered if the thought of the wedding and seeing Sean had caused it… so… ” She lets out a long, long breath. “Again, I told everyone to keep quiet about it, I discussed with Jimmie and Marley and we all decided to wait and see if you mentioned it to us George, we were just worried about you.”

Sean runs his hand through his hair, and then looks at Marley. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“Because I thought you would go straight to her and I didn’t think that was what she needed, I thought she was fragile, the same as my Mum, I was just protecting her, my Mum never mentioned a girl though.” Marley looks at my Mum. “You said the security guard called you.”

“Well I couldn’t tell you about Mandy, she swore me to secrecy, she told me that her and Sean were still together but they were keeping it quiet until after Jimmies wedding as they didn’t want to tip Georgia over the edge, I thought she was being considerate.” My Mum gives a bitter little laugh as she finishes speaking. She looks at Sean. “When you turned up at my house that Sunday with the girls on the bikes, it struck me that the girl you was with, looked a lot like this Mandy but what I couldn’t get my head around was, if you was so in love with this Mandy, why were you at my house with her lookalike, then I realised it was her that Georgia had the problem with.”

She moves her eyes across to me. “All you kept repeating George was that she looked just like her… That got me thinking that perhaps you already knew about this Mandy, so I went through all the scrap books, I made them for you George, every piece of news about the boys, I kept and put into a scrapbook, in the hope that one day you would be able to look at it.” She wipes tears from under her eyes and my bottom lips trembles as I watch her do it and I hate myself, I hate myself for caring that she’s upset and I hate myself for being the one that’s made her cry and I’m beginning to feel sick, because I think that I’m beginning to put this puzzle together. I cover my mouth with hand as I can feel it start to water, the way it sometimes does before you vomit.

“I kept the good stuff and the bad stuff, the pictures, articles, song lyrics, you name it, I’ve kept it all and I sat and went through it until I found her picture and that’s when I realised what an almighty fuckup I’d made.”

I shake my head continuously. “Oh no no no.”

I look across at Jimmie, she looks at me incredulously. “Whorely?” She asks me. I nod my head, then turn and look at Sean, he hasn’t joined the dots.

“It was the girl from the rape charge.” My Mum continues. Sean is instantly on his feet. “No, no, no fuckin’ way, I have not clapped eyes on that girl since that day, there was never anything between me and her, never G, I swear on my life.”

I shake my head at him. “I know, I know, I believe you.”

I look around at everyone in the room. “Fuck, wow she really does hate me, because she’s gone all out to ruin my life and keep us apart all this time. I need a drink.”

I am so angry, angry to the point where I can’t think or see straight, I need a drink, I need a cigarette, I need a joint and I need my Mum out of my sight while I try to make sense of all of this, my head right at that moment, feels like it’s about to explode.

CHAPTER 18

The problem with open plan houses, is that you can’t make a grand exit, you can storm off in indignation but there are no doors to slam, which, let’s face it, is what you really need to do to get your point across and to let everyone know just how pissed off you are. The other problem is that there are no rooms where you can lock yourself away and have a good cry when the need takes and I think that right at that moment, that’s perhaps what I need to do.

I go into the kitchen and retrieve the wine glass I left there earlier, I pour myself a drink and lean back against the work top and look across to my family all gathered in the lounge area. I watch Len, Jim and Marley, all deep in conversation. I watch Bailey, pat Sean on the back, say something to him and shake his hand, then begrudgingly my eyes go over to my parents, they are sitting side by side. My Mum seems to be trying to explain something to my Dad? he has her hand in his and I watch as he brings it to his lips and kisses the back of it, he nods in agreement at whatever it is that she’s saying and they both look up at the same time toward me. She stands and the room falls quiet as she heads in my direction; I take a long chug on my wine and watch as she approaches.

“We really need to talk Georgia, I really need you to understand that what I did, I did out of love and concern for my daughter. What I did, I did to protect you.” I don’t want to cry, I want to be strong and defiant and nasty to her, I want to say spiteful, hurtful things, instead I just say what comes into my head as I really don’t have the capacity to think too much right now.

“I understand all of that Mum but what you also forgot along the way is that you’re my friend and friends don’t keep secrets from each other, even if they think it’s going to cause pain, they tell each other the truth, they share and then they’re there for you, then they help you to pick up the pieces and move on.”

“Well Jimmie lied to you too; you don’t seem to be angry with her.”

“Oh no, no, don’t even go there, Jimmie was asked, by you I might add, not to mention something. She didn’t blatantly, barefaced lie to me.” Sean appears from behind my Mum and comes and stands next to me, taking my hand in his. “Mum, I’ve had the night from hell, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, I need to think, I need to get my head around the fact that for the last four years, someone has gone out of their way to fuck up my life and you helped them to do it.”

She goes to say something but I hold my hand up to stop her and shake my head. “Please just go, I’m going to take tomorrow off and maybe next week too, I’m sure you and Ash can cope.”

“Don’t do this George, please talk to me.”

“I can’t right now Mum, just give me some time.”

“One day Georgia, one day you will be a mother and then you will totally understand my actions.”

I shrug and look at her. “Who knows?”

She lets out a deep sigh, then turns and walks away. My Dad gives me a cuddle. “Don’t be so hard on her Princess, she loves you more than life, she thought she was doing the right thing.”

“I know Dad, I know.” Is all I can come up with, I just don’t want to argue right now, not with anyone.